#god please dont open this im just really anxious
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4unnyr0se · 5 months ago
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Hi love your writing!! I havent touched HQ in 3 years but Im starting to love old characters I use to fall in love with like Asahi, Oikawa, Bokuto etc,,, so as my first req, could you pls write fem! Reader x Bokuto fluff in HS?
Like Bokuto trying to court the reader. How would that go? And how did he finally ask us out?
Feel free to ignore this if you dont like the idea! Ty for ur time 🤍❤️🤍
❥ young love at fukurodani | kotaro bokuto
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warnings: none that i can think of. this is pure fluff
MDNI | No 18+ content, I just don't want minors interacting with my blog
word count -> 1.6k
okay so aaaa this didn't rlly follow the ask bc all he does is ask reader to tutor him and then cute stuff happens but i can make a hc of it probably tonight or tomorrow?? also i wrote this when i was having tummy issues so im very sorry if its horrible. i love u!
got a request? my asks are open!
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Bokuto wasn’t one to get embarrassed that easily. Sure, he did embarrassing things but didn’t know they were embarrassing. They were part of his boyish charm, which people loved about him…right? Of course, they did. He was Kotaro Bokuto. He was Fukurodani’s ace, and the people loved him for it. So why, if he was so confident, did he get awkward and embarrassed around you, his pretty classmate?
Saying you were gorgeous was an understatement. He couldn’t find the right words to describe you to his friends, mainly Akaashi. “She’s just like, y’know? And I’m like, oh damn! She’s cute as fuck!” Boktuo would make various gestures with his hands as he and Akaashi sat on the steps leading to the gym, sipping cola from the vending machine. “What do I do, Akaashi? She’s so pretty, and I’m pretty too! The only problem is that everyone else in our year thinks so, too…do I even have a shot?”
Akaashi would offer him a pitiful smile, rubbing his back in assurance. “Well, isn’t she one of the smartest in our year?”
“Yeah, smart and pretty. She’s so fucking perfect, I wish you could see her.” he pouted.
“Well, the answer is simple,” Akaashi said, standing up and stretching his arms above his head. Ask her for help with homework; god knows you need it.”
“Hey! I got a 41 on my chemistry test!” Bokuto yelled at Akaashi as the setter entered the gym. But he did have a point, like always. Bokuto decided then and there that he would ask you to tutor him tomorrow, no matter how anxious he was. Anxiety was for suckers anyway.
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“Hey, wait up!” Bokuto ran after you as you exited your classroom, papers flying out of his messy bookbag that was riddled with stains from only God knows what. “I gotta ask you a question!”
You stopped walking and turned your heel, raising an eyebrow as the Fukurodani captain barreled towards you. “Hey, what’s up, Bokuto? How’s volleyball going? Are we headed to nationals?” you asked, placing a hand on your hip. God, even the way you held yourself was perfect. Were you an actual goddess, or was Bokuto just lovestruck?
Bokuto finally caught up to you, leaning against the hallway walls in an attempt to appear suave and put-together. His messy uniform didn’t help his cause, but he forgot to look neat today. And every day after that. “Uh, I was wondering if you understood what we were assigned in English yesterday? I don’t understand any of it to save my skin, hah,” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes. “Did you get what our teacher was saying?”
“Yeah, it was really simple. Just basic grammar and syntax structures. Was it complicated for you?” you tilted your head to the side.
“I don’t really get it. Wanna tutor me at my house today? I can get you snacks!” he offered you a crooked smile, leaning forward so his golden eyes peered into yours. “C’mon, please? The coach will kick my ass if I don’t get my grades up, and I have a game next week! Pretty please?” he folded his hands in prayer, his bottom lip in a childish pout.
You smiled and nodded, grabbing him off the wall. Bokuto blushed at the sudden contact, noticing how neat you kept your fingernails compared to his own. Yours were neatly polished to perfection while he bit his nails almost constantly, and being a wing spiker didn’t come with having good-looking nails. 
“Where’s your house? Is it walking distance?” you let go of his hand, much to Bokuto’s dismay. 
“Yeah, it’s about five minutes from here. Wanna stop at a convenience store on the way? I’m really hungry.” he rubbed his stomach as you two walked out the nearest exit, your messenger bag dangling over your shoulder. 
“Only if you’re paying,” you joked, rubbing his shoulder. Bokuto could have sworn his heart stopped right then and there. Were you actually flirting with him, or were you just really touchy? Either way, it was a win in his book. 
“Sure, I don’t mind. Anything for a pretty girl like yo-” Bokuto stopped his sentence, smacking his hand over his mouth. “I-I mean, why wouldn’t I mind? I’m a captain, after all. It’s my job to provide for my teammates!”
“But I’m not on any sports teams. I’m not your teammate.” you deadpanned, 
“You know what I mean!” Bokuto whined, wiping his forehead of the sweat that was slowly starting to gather. “Damn, it’s a hot one today. Why won’t they let the guys wear shorts? Do they want us to die of heat stroke or something?”
“I honestly have no idea,” you sighed, walking under the shade of the convenience store roof. “Wait a minute,” you instructed, placing your messenger bag on the hot pavement. You shrugged off your school blazer and wrapped it around your waist tightly in an attempt to cool you off. You also rolled up the sleeves of your white blouse, loosening your collar. “Sorry, I’m just really warm. At least we get to wear skirts, right?” you offered him a lopsided smile.
Bokuto’s heart pounded in his chest. “Uh, yeah, you girls are so lucky. Wearing skirts must feel awesome.”
“It’s awesome until you catch someone trying to look it up,” you mumbled in annoyance, hoisting your bag over your shoulders. 
“What the actual fuck? Who was it? I’ll murder them! I'll text Konoha too; he’ll definitely want in on it,” Bokuto clenched his fists together, walking into the store with you. “I’m sorry that happened to you, honestly.
You shrugged your shoulder and rummaged through the ice cream pin, choosing a passionfruit-flavored ice bar. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I barely know you, anyways.”
“That doesn’t mean that I can’t protect you from jerks like that guy,” Bokuto angrily shoved his hands in his pockets, tapping his foot on the tile. He fished about 400 yen out of his pocket and handed it to the cashier, ushering you out of the shop as quickly as possible. 
“What was that for?” you asked, unwrapping the popsicle. 
“I didn’t like how he looked at you, that’s all.” Bokuto huffed. He made grabby motions for your bookbag, which you handed to him with a confused look on your features. “Let me carry that, please. You’re too pretty to carry heavy stuff around like that all day.”
You paused your walk and stared at Bokuto, blushing softly. “You think I’m pretty?” 
Bokuto slowly nodded and gave you a crooked smile, blushing in turn. “Yeah, I really do. I was afraid to tell you before, but now I’m all fired up. I wanna protect you from creeps, y’know?”
You popped the ice treat out of your mouth and stepped forward, smiling softly. “We barely know each other, and you want to keep me safe? We haven’t even hung out once.”
“We’re heading to my house right now, aren’t we?” Bokuto shrugged, his blush not fading. 
You chuckled and took another step forward, the tips of your noses brushing against each other. “Yeah, I guess we are,” you whispered, your lips dangerously close to his own. “You know, I always thought you were kind of cute. In the athletic kind of way, I suppose.”
Bokuto dropped the bags he held onto the hot concrete beneath you, praying they wouldn’t roll down the hill you were standing on. You two were in a remote location, and the tension was thick. “You think I’m cute?” he tilted his head to the side, his eyelids dropping halfway. 
“Mhm,” you purred, your popsicle dripping from the intense heat. “Super cute.”
“Fuck,” Bokuto’s hands hovered above your waist, unsure of what you wanted him to do. “Uh, is it okay if I kiss you? Please, cutie?” he quietly pleaded, your lips basically touching at this point. 
You smiled and nodded, holding your melting popsicle behind your back. “Mhm, it’s okay.”
Bokuto smiled as his lips interlocked with yours for a minute, savoring the sweet passionfruit flavor that coated them. His hands squeezed your waist childishly, never wanting this moment between the two of you to end. This kiss was exactly how he dreamed it would be, soft and perfect. Just like you.
You pulled away after a bit and giggled, your popsicle having since fallen onto the heated pavement. Your sticky hands cupped his face, the pads of your thumbs running over his defined cheekbones. “You’re a good kisser,” you pecked his forehead bravely. “Like, a really good kisser.”
“Same to you, cutie,” his hands left your waist, choosing to instead secure your wrists. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that. So. Fucking. Long.”
 A chuckle escaped your lips as your hands fell to your waist again, intertwining your fingers with Bokuto’s. You had never notified it before, but he was much bigger than you. It made you feel safe and secure. Protected. “We should probably get to your house to study, shouldn’t we?” 
“Aw, I was having so much fun kissing you on the sidewalk!” Bokuto pretended to whine, kicking a loose pebble that was in his way. He easily picked up the bags with his spare hand and tossed them over his broad shoulder. 
“Tell you what,” you squeezed his hand. “For every question you get right, I’ll give you a kiss. Does that sound like a fair deal?”
“Hell yeah, it does!” Bokuto kissed you on the cheek in excitement. He practically skipped to his house with you in tow, excited for what the rest of the day would have in store.
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soulidarity · 9 months ago
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Rafayel and reader did that it was readers first time but in the morning she gets up early she had an important class so she leaves and she forgets to text Rafayel and Rafayel would feel very anxious?!? Idk if it makes any sense
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left alone
hurt/comfort | rafayel x mc / reader | 694 words
as she opened her eyes, she was greeted by a purple tuff of hair on her chest. her face softened as she played with it for a moment, remembering the events of last night. it had been such a meaningful experience. wanting to thank him with breakfast, the girl started getting up, careful not to disturb her partner.
as she checked her phone, she realized the time. she was about to be late for work. quickly getting dressed and leaving a goodbye kiss, she made her way out of the artists house.
a few hours later, the lemurian woke up, feeling unusually cold as he realized where this lack of warmth was coming from. he turned around and saw that his bed was empty as he recalled everything that had happened.
had she really just left him? used him? was that all she wanted from him? everything that their relationship had been building up to be up until this point was for nothing?
As the tall man stood up and looked over his house for any sign of his partner, he grew even more disappointed, but not of her but of himself. had he not been enough? if she just wanted that type of relationship, she could've said so. he just wanted her in any way he could. even if it was at his expense.
the day went on, and he laid on his bed. time moving fast, but he paid no mind to it. maybe thomas had called him a couple of times, it couldnt have been anything important since he didn't burst through the door while scolding him.
he tossed and turned in the bed, her scent surrounding him, making his chest tighten. After a bit, he fell asleep again.
"...yel"
"...fayel"
"Rafayel!"
He turned around as he woke up, taking in his surroundings.
"Did you sleep all day? Thomas texted me saying he couldn't get in touch with you."
"So you pay attention to Thomas' texts but can't even leave me a note?"
"What? What do you mean-?"
"You left me."
Her teasing smile dropped as it dawned on her what she had done.
"Oh my god I... Rafayel I swear it wasn't like that"
"It's fine," he interrupted, sitting up on the bed and looking down. "If you... want to see me in that way and only in that way... It's fine, just please..." Strong hands held her wrists. "dont leave me."
Both of them sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity, the clock on the wall seemingly unmoving.
At the lack of response, the lemurian looked up to see her holding back tears. "Why are you crying?"
"Because I just left you there! And you're just... accepting it?!" She shook off his hold and stepped off the bed.
"Why are you getting angry at me?"
"Im not angry at you, Yel. Im angry at myself. What happened last night was really special to me and I really wanted- want to thank you. But I woke up late and Tara had been calling me so I ran to work. I am... truly sorry."
He stood up, chuckling at her tear stained face.
"It's okay, my love." he caressed her cheek, her hands quickly flying to hold his. "It's not. You've told me countless times how scared you are of me leaving, and it feels like I continue to make that fear come true. And I'm really sorry... I... wish I could give you what you're looking for-"
Her rambling was interrupted by soft lips pressed against hers. It lasted a few seconds before he pulled away.
"I should really buy you a lip balm" her mouth was slightly open in bewilderment as he chuckled.
"It's really okay. Both of us need to work on our things. You should be better at letting me know when you have to leave, and I should be better at letting you leave. As much as I wish to have you for myself, you have responsibilities, and you love your job, I can't take you away from it."
"To make it up to you, how about I make dinner?" she smiled.
-----------------------♡☆♡------------------------
thank you so much for the request! english isnt my first language so i apologize for my mistakes.
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thelovelybitten · 1 year ago
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vera talks mlb: the movie — thoughts and drabbles
I cant even breathe rn, I watched the movie 4 hours ago and here’s my (now) settled thoughts about it.
picture of how I felt in that moment:
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warning: spoilers for the MLB movie :DDD
so I have been a fan of this show since it came out, god I was FUCKING 16 then and now I’m 24 jfc…. it’s so wild how much time has passed.
now, the main show was SO good until season 4. I stopped watching the show all together because of how messy the plot was, Gabriel being the biggest pos known to man & how stalkerish they made Marinette (not to mention totally delulu and borderline insane (though, with all due respect, its a lot for a 15? 16 year old ???) but they could have written it better imo.)
not only Marinette but Adrien still being a small minor role (it’s always ladybug doing the damn thing but chat noir is left doing nothing it’s fucking sad he deserves so much better) and him just being shit on the last 3 seasons. he deserves more screentime and character development.
I also couldn’t handle adrien being a senti-monster, but we ain’t gonna talk abt that.
so I left the fandom all together.
but this movie. this. god. damn. movie.
this is HOW THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN IN THE FIRST PLACE. the character development with Marinette and Adrien is AMAZING and feels more realistic to me— they really drive on how unlucky Marinette is and how lucky adrien is (to an extent for adrien, but I digress). and the whole library scene made me giggle it was so cute. Marinette being infatuated but not a stalker was nice to see.
movie ladybug & chat noir sparked my feelings for the fandom all together. how cocky chat noir is, ladybug being anxious to fail but finding solace with chat made my heart all warm. every scene they had together I was kicking my feet and screaming like a child. (they own me, lol)
I have to specifically mention THE FUCKING FIGHT SCENE WHERE CHAT NOIR HAS LADYBUG PINNED TO THE WALL BC WHEN IT HAPPENED I HAD TO PAUSE, LEARN HOW TO BREATHE AGAIN, COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND CONTINUE. THE PURE TENSION IN THAT MOMENT. “I really should go home now.” “don’t” DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME ?!?!?! GOD IM STILL SCREAMING ABT IT 😭😭😭 they had electric hearts babe DONT EVEN LIE
their chemistry in the film just. made me feel things. they have an amazing dynamic and it was utilized. i wish it was more prevalent in the show series—the banter was everything.
I definitely was caught off guard when cristina wasn’t singing, but I got used to it
master fu was also super good too !! I defo prefer him in the show but movie fu slayed
chloe being chloe but not overdoing it made me :)))).
even alya and nino were written exceptionally.
tikki was written well, loved her, but plagg made me give him the side eye… where is his annoying ass. he can make fart jokes but please keep his sly demeanour.
gabriel was extremely well written, might just be the best character that was re-vamped imo. his storyline made sense and it wasn’t completely heartless…. using the miraculous and him slowly getting weaker and weaker made so much sense. (the musical number tho, SO FUNNY)—but god, when he found out chat noir was adrien he stopped. stopped everything. he loves his son so much, just as much as he loves emilie. we’ll see where the potential next movie goes with him, but lord his character is what I wish show gabriel was like.
the end scene at the ball made my jaw DROP. marinette looked amazing in her dress oh my god— and then the almost kiss I was MAD but also happy bc after that it opened the door for a sequel so ILL TAKE IT.
also when marinette takes off adrien’s mask and puts it on was so fucking cute 😭 the atmosphere was all warm and wholesome.
also giving props to chloe because her gold dress ate down.
sabine gave me helen parr vibes and i don’t know why.
tom being the overprotective dad 😭
anyways, i probably missed some things
but this movie, in my opinion, ate the show for breakfast and became the meal i’ve wanted for several years. MOVIE IS 1000x better than the show series and i stand by that statement forever.
if you haven’t seen it, watch it immediately.
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hella1975 · 1 year ago
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💌 🧍HELLO
gloomstie!!!!!!!! okay obvious things first i LOVE your art like it's been such a pleasure to go from you nervously tagging me in taob art to now me freaking out over your oc art and i have such respect for artists anyway bc i cannot even fathom how you do that shit, but i love love LOVE when my mutuals are artists bc i STUDY that shit for any sign of them that i can recognise, and you have quite a distinctive style. i just really love that i can see a blorbo i dont even know and still be like 'gloomy art! this is gloomy art!' and i get so excited lol. less obvious stuff and this might sound weird or god forbid condescending so PLEASE know that's not how im trying to say it, but i feel like ive watched you change a lot since first interacting with you? like maybe this was always you and you were just coming out of your shell because you didnt know me, which if that's the case that still fits my point tbh, bc it's just been such an honour to watch and get to know you better and watch you get more confident in yourself and your art. it's so fun getting to interact with you and sometimes i can see you getting anxious about things youve said and you kinda backtrack but im always gonna be listening and i love that even on those instances you still try anyway. idk life is hard and being out in it all is worse but i always have a soft spot for people that feel it all and stick it out anyway. i guess i just feel like your trust was more hard-earned than some and it's just been an absolute joy to see more of the real you over time, whether that's because you opened up to me more or because you opened up to yourself more.
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sethredia · 9 months ago
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straight up i think period-induced anxiety is the worst. like i have gad so im already anxious constantly but it normally settles at a not-great-but-manageable background hum if that makes sense? but when im on my period that shit goes from like a casual 4/10 to a fucking 14/10 sometimes.
ill be already a lil spooked about x or y thing on a normal day but when im on my period? i cant fucking sleep because im thinking about it and my chest is getting tight and i can feel my heart rate kick up and i roll over and get on my phone to distract myself and yet i know im distracting myself so the distraction doesnt really work and on and on until its three am and i pass tf out
its more manageable when im at work, right, because theres Stuff To Do at work. there a Job Tasks and then Job Distractions which are, in their own way, a different form of job task to me. is it the same fanfic i opened the night before to read but couldnt get through because my stupid, chemical deficient, hormone-addled brain wont let me focus on it? yes. is it different now because im at work and work is an entirely different vibe so now i can get through that story (and maybe a few others depending on length)? also yes!
anxiety example: my boss texted me last night, or i guess now that its gone past midnight would it be the night before last?, and said (frankly very ominously? like even without the anxiety disorder it would be spooky methinks) “call me before you go in tomorrow” and i was like “oh shit oh fuck what did i do i dont think i did anything i mean i had a weird hiccup with counting the drawer out at the end of the shift because i was doing 18.50 in my head instead if 17.50 so i had an overhang of a dollar and so maybe me messing with the dollar while i was trying to figure out what happened showed up and looked weird on the cameras and she saw it and she wants to talk to me about it???” and so that morning i did all my get-ready things and went back into my room, grabbed one of my stuffies for emotional support in the same way i do to make dentist appoints and shit, and bravely called my boss
and then. she said she just wanted to check on if it would be safe to have us open the store because of the snow that night. she lives in the next town over where it snowed a lot (7.5 inches. she stuck a ruler in it and sent me a picture later lol) and wanted to check on road conditions and just a general vibe on it f whether people would be out and about (it snowed in my town 3 inches. if im being generous. most of it melted off before noon. according to my boss, it continued to try and snow where she was on and off all day. what a wild difference like ten miles does to the weather!).
i got so so so scared over like a dollar worth of figured out before i left the building confusion that my boss wanting to just. be a good person. was like nowhere in my thought process.
related but only slightly: i got freaked tf out over one singular dollar and had that shit figured out before i went home for the day, whereas my stupid fucking coworker who is like technically my manager (i think if i had to put a title on her it would be like assistant manager but idk she doesnt have a title on our work schedule but shes above all the team lead kids but i also am that but i know technically shes my boss and she makes ~a dollar/hour more~ than i do so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) ALWAYS fucks up the drawers somehow. like our manager wants the end count on the drawer to be between $149.50-150.50. Why there is dont know but thats how it goes right? WRONG. every single time i come in and have to open a drawer after this lunatic has closed the night before, the drawers are over $150.50. it is not hard to stick another dollar into your bundle. drop the extra dollar. the drawer should not be at $150.75. drop the dollar. put it at $149.75 please god. this happened today on both drawers (small store; we only have two registers and only have shift overlaps on weekends and evenings so it works).
what Also happened today was that we have little paper slips that go into the drawers so you know what amount theyre supposed to be tallying out to when you count them next to know if everything is good or not. the paper said $150.65. i counted that fucker like six times, did the math on two different calculators three times to make sure it wasn’t me mis-hitting a decimal or something, and discovered it was actually at $155.65. five whole dollars. like im sure for a target thats not a big deal — still noticeable and youd absolutely get yelled at but like big picture and all — but for us thats a decent chunk! this woman simply does not double check anything she does regarding the cash drawers and it outrages me.
ALSO ALSO yesterday i counted out my drawer and it ended on like $150.30. within the boundaries. she put it in for the when the other closer came in. i left at 2:30, this other girl came in at 6:30, so somewhere in that four hours she recounted the drawer. we have a binder we write our numbers in for ~Accountability~. she wrote and initialed that it was at the $150.30 i counted it out to. this drawer, for the three or so hours its running that evening, handles no cash. written in the binder it has a big ol NO CASH written through in the Cash In and Deposited sections. the drawer closed at $150.75. where??? did that extra??? .45¢ come from??? and like what a weird amount too! thats not a two-quarter whoopsie, thats a whole mess of coins. four dimes and a nickel. a quarter and two dimes. other combinations im too tired to list. and like when i counted it that next morning it was at that $150.75. which is impressive, as the last time a NO CASH she wrote that had different starting and ending numbers, it turned out that there wasnt actually a difference, and that the original starting number was in fact still the amount in there. her ending number was also off by like .37¢ or something that time so like.
man. tell me you dont count out the registers properly without telling me you dont count them out properly.
anyway all of this is to say: periods suck and i hate them and i fucking wish i could sleep instead of worrying about what im currently worried about.
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ratboydipshit · 2 years ago
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computer diary "critical kernel power (41)"
after cats destroyed my old pc i had to build a new one and this new build had a really annoying issue. it would randomly just reboot, all i could find when troubleshooting was as it powered back on windows would log a kernel power critical system event (event id 41) which basically just means the system lost power unexpectedly and couldnt perform normal safe shutdown processes. essentially the os wants to turn off the lights before it leaves the house but it has returned to the house and sees that the lights didnt get turned off the last time it left, so it makes a note of this: kernel power 41. it's a post-event notice that ~something~ might have happened but it doesn't actually know why the lights were still on when it got back. so basically the worst fucking kind of reported issue, like the person who was supposed to be keeping watch telling you "dunno what happened but its weird innit" after the building gets broken into
this power loss event would happen frequently, sometimes my pc could cycle power every 5-10 minutes for 8 hours and then be fine for 12, and then start fucking up again. i was averaging upwards of 60 critical events a week! that's like at least 8 times daily!!!! i had morrowind saves corrupted, lost work, incomplete large file transfers IT SUCKED BAD i opened up the system and tried reseating all the power cables multiple times with no improvement
but after a month of this shit i figured out that the events seemed to become less likely to happen the more the system was under load. so, sitting in teams during a meeting was almost assuredly going to have the power event happen after a few minutes. but if i had earth defense force 5 open, the system could maintain essentially 24/7 uptime no issues. less demanding things like ancient pc games or minimally intense modern 2d games would still have power events but they were more infrequent. so i just started leaving edf 5 paused in the background all day every day. it worked problem solved whatever
but last month i had the financial breathing room to replace my gpu without going hungry. due to (possibly power event issue related im not sure) unforeseen problems, instead of doing a simple plug and play gpu replacement i ended up taking my pc apart to the individual component level, everything got taken apart and cleaned (cpu remained socketed but i did reapply the cooler and fresh goo)
after several hours of hard work, system was back up on a fresh windows install. fucking miraculously (considering how many other things went wrong leading up to that point) the power event issue was no longer happening. i still leave games open 24/7 in the background as like kind of a anxious superstitious coping mechanism because i... i do not know what the issue was or how i solved it. i pray i never have to deal with it again but it does make me feel kind of nauseous to know that i did not learn anything from the problem. i dont know if i could fix something like that again going forward.
im legit worried that one day i'll be responsible for a system that randomly restarts and when i go check event viewer it's going to say critical kernel power (41) and then restart again. i'll fucking scream i swear to god that might actually kill me
if you, dear reader, experience this issue do not ask me for help please because as far as i know you have two options: take everything apart and put it back together (might not work!!!) or to be sure the issue is solved for good just replace the entire thing. stop building pcs just go fucking buy an asus rog gamer laptop its not fucking worth it yall god damn it fuck me *crying and gagging*
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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago
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meow meow, its muning and PLEASE tell me you received the first part?? bc just after they said that it's sent they said tumblr is broken TT i hope it really was sent.. so yeah it must be part 2. 'i literally opened genshin for this' ohh i feel honored. firSt of all, THE CAT TT omg what a cutie you have there. you remember ekaterina? well, my besties name is liza. just find it hilarious and kinda "mom i'm on tv!" hope youll make a stable relationship with lisa ghjdjdh. good for you. its so cute how you speak about xiangling. its great she made you feel this way. your brothers can just envy you enjoying your life and playing the way you want instead of just 'optimally' being nerds) jean seams to be gaslight gatekeep girlboss! i like it. hope you'll learn how to value her like she deserves TT 'THE CAT I STOOD THER' well the kittys laying now and its even more cute TT tbh it was the first thing i noticed... 'i have to keep adjusting the camera' oh so youre the cameraman now? youre doing great, sweetie. idk if i understand 'op' right but if i do then yelan slays. she's pretty. hope she'll do well if you plan to keep leveling her up. 'you cant talk to this cat' so cruel!!! sayu is basically my mood 24/7, i could've slept forever if i had an opportunity. i'm happy you feel so much about sayu, its cute. and hope youll get klee. and youll be the mother of two children... pls dont end up like viserys... AHJAJA amber TT poor girl. weak + weak = getting stronger so... idk good luck to both of you. good for musicians, in this house we love musicians. tbh i never heard of xinyan too but yor love is everything that matters. well morning is pretty! hope it didnt tire you up too much. i appreciate the efforts, though. thanks for showing me all of them!! she's Minimum viable product?.... anyway i'm glad you teamed up so well. she made her best so let zhongli work too. 'hell theme is fresh' i know about dante girl TT i really want to read it but i dont have time. but i know TT im not stupid. i meant like?? its a fictional concept that doesnt exist (or its not proven). hell is such a big thing to fantasise about. its fresh in a away its still not overused and hasnt been told everything about? i literally study literature like.. thoroughly... now i feel so stupid TT i just wanted to see more modern images of hell TT 'theres something about the idea of sending an ask that makes me anxious' its totally ok!! theres nothing really scary! ive been anxious to send asks too but probably being anon helped me a lot fhdhj. no is still an answer, if anything. we say 'they dont beat you for asking'. go and communicate with everyone you want to. 'im allergic to dust' GOD BLESS YOU and good luck. poor babe. 'the weather is cold' 1) i understood i cant slap people. literally. i have no experience so i have no knowledge. 2) what system do you use? like centigrade or fahrenheit? and what is cold for you... 3) its pretty warm now in where i live! its -18° C so im satisfied with the weather. 4) actually, not the whole russia is cold... its just me being from siberia. its +2° rn in the city where my besties from which is in the south. hope the movie'll be interesting at least. its ok. you can write whenever you want and whenever you're comfortable. since you've closed requests, just give you some time and enjoy some time off writing. (but let me know when youre willing to hear a concept about daemon feeling guilty and having to face the surprising reality). some emotions again! ive watched some videos with hotd cast and i'm so in love with Olivia TT shes not mommy, shes mother and i love her TT i love even the actors of rhaenys and corlys (sorry babes, my memory is bad). the girl who played young alicent is also soso cool. alicent's cast is really amazing. maybe i still think theyre not as similar as young and adult rhaenyras but their acting is good. do you have a fav hotd actor (beside daemon)? ok i think ill go end up my essay and go to bed. love you!! have a nice day/evening/night/life! good luck with the assignments! take care <з
yes i very much did get your first part HAHAAH muning
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i kinda feel bad for the eternal pain of this perfectly looped gif
tumblr go bonk🤠 it cant handle your love for me
'i literally opened genshin for this' ohh i feel honored. firSt of all, THE CAT TT omg what a cutie you have there. you remember ekaterina? well, my besties name is liza. just find it hilarious and kinda "mom i'm on tv!" hope youll make a stable relationship with lisa ghjdjdh.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH STABLE RELATIONSHIP HAHAHHAHA. yeah i get what you feel every time i see another hannah im like OMG NO WAY but i hope they dont make a hannah character 😔👎 idk its weird someone else has my name HAHAHAH like that song by twenty one pilots 'down in the forest' LOLOLOL
good for you. its so cute how you speak about xiangling. its great she made you feel this way. your brothers can just envy you enjoying your life and playing the way you want instead of just 'optimally' being nerds)
HD:ASHDFAFDH:AHSF SO TRUE MY BROTHERS SUCK THE FUN OUT OF THE GAME SOMETIME though i understand why they tell me this because it is frustrating to play when you have no idea what ur doing and every since i tried out some of the stuff they said, i really did see results so HAHAHH
jean seams to be gaslight gatekeep girlboss! i like it. hope you'll learn how to value her like she deserves TT
T_T #justiceforjean
'THE CAT I STOOD THER' well the kittys laying now and its even more cute TT tbh it was the first thing i noticed...
i specifically posed there to show you the kitty!!!!
'i have to keep adjusting the camera' oh so youre the cameraman now? youre doing great, sweetie.
😡❌🍅 its the camera in the GAME 👎👎👎👎👎
idk if i understand 'op' right but if i do then yelan slays. she's pretty. hope she'll do well if you plan to keep leveling her up.
im so sorry i assumed you just knew HAHAHHA OP means over powered hHAHAHHAAHHA. yes yelan slays. i do plan to level her up.......... eventuallly
'you cant talk to this cat' so cruel!!!
there are some cats you can talk to
hold on let me open the game T_T
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here !! his name is prince! you can 'talk to him
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noelles so tiny T_T
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lol nvm i changed to the main character and i cant talk to cat because my level is not high enough to challenge him HAHHHAH anyway lol thats it
sayu is basically my mood 24/7, i could've slept forever if i had an opportunity. i'm happy you feel so much about sayu, its cute. and hope youll get klee. and youll be the mother of two children... pls dont end up like viserys...
im luv sayu for real. AND PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS NOT YOU COMPARING ME TO VISERYS T_T NAURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR i hope i get klee too! T_T i will love her forever even if shes weak HAHAAH
AHJAJA amber TT poor girl. weak + weak = getting stronger so... idk good luck to both of you.
AHHAHHAHHAAH WEAK + WEAK = GETTING STRONGER SLAYYYYYYYY <3 LOVE THAT MENTALITY
good for musicians, in this house we love musicians. tbh i never heard of xinyan too but yor love is everything that matters. well morning is pretty! hope it didnt tire you up too much. i appreciate the efforts, though. thanks for showing me all of them!!
<3 im luv u too <3 i wasnt tired but i was a lil relucant to share em because it might be oversharing now LOL but anyway i like showing you things <3
she's Minimum viable product?.... anyway i'm glad you teamed up so well. she made her best so let zhongli work too.
T_T noelle my love T_T shes not a minimum viable product T_T IDEK WHAT THAT MEANS ok i know what it means now i guess ??? maybe she was like that for me???? T_T but thats so sad to think T_T
'hell theme is fresh' i know about dante girl TT i really want to read it but i dont have time.
i aint ever reading that its too long T_T i hope you get to reading it since you seem to want to
but i know TT im not stupid. i meant like?? its a fictional concept that doesnt exist (or its not proven). hell is such a big thing to fantasise about. its fresh in a away its still not overused and hasnt been told everything about?
I SEE good point good point
i literally study literature like.. thoroughly... now i feel so stupid TT i just wanted to see more modern images of hell TT
T_T you wanna see modern hell T_T PLS i hope you only mean in the show
'theres something about the idea of sending an ask that makes me anxious' its totally ok!! theres nothing really scary! ive been anxious to send asks too but probably being anon helped me a lot fhdhj. no is still an answer, if anything. we say 'they dont beat you for asking'. go and communicate with everyone you want to.
SOOOOOO REALLL FOR THAT LOVE THAT FOR YOU AND ME i will try to be more.... or ok less anxious about sending asks!! 😤😤😤😤😤 ill try T_T HAAAH
'im allergic to dust' GOD BLESS YOU and good luck. poor babe.
T_T every time i clean a really dusty place my body is like is this a threat CLOG THE NOSTRILS then i cant breathe T_T
'the weather is cold' 1) i understood i cant slap people. literally. i have no experience so i have no knowledge. 2) what system do you use? like centigrade or fahrenheit? and what is cold for you... 3) its pretty warm now in where i live! its -18° C so im satisfied with the weather.
let me stop you right here AHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH ok #1 ok i get it BUT youre going to slap me when i answer number 3 #2 i use Celsius like you!! #3 T_T HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH its 28C here HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i would die probably if i went to you. but ok to be fair i have an electric fan open and when its night it gets colder so HAHAHAHAHHAHH
4) actually, not the whole russia is cold... its just me being from siberia. its +2° rn in the city where my besties from which is in the south.
T_T cold is relative sure but russia is all cold to ME T_T
hope the movie'll be interesting at least.
me too T_T im going to watch it after this T_T
its ok. you can write whenever you want and whenever you're comfortable. since you've closed requests, just give you some time and enjoy some time off writing. (but let me know when youre willing to hear a concept about daemon feeling guilty and having to face the surprising reality). some emotions again!
<3 <3 youre so sweet <3 so much sweeter than normal <3 im taking credit T_T JK YOUVE ALWAYS BEEN SWEET IM LUV U SO MUCH i am glad you didnt say the daemon idea cos i might wanna write it A:LSHASLFHLASFHASL:HFAS HAHHAHAAHHAAH
ive watched some videos with hotd cast and i'm so in love with Olivia TT shes not mommy, shes mother and i love her TT
i mean shes both mommy and mother T_T im luv her so much
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NAH BUT THIS SCENE WAS SO INTENSE BUT THEYRE BOTH SO HOT IN IT HKASHF:LHASFAS:F
i love even the actors of rhaenys and corlys (sorry babes, my memory is bad).
I LOVE THEM TOO IVE SEEN A FEW INTERVIEWS WITH THEM and they look like theyre having so much fun <3
the girl who played young alicent is also soso cool. alicent's cast is really amazing. maybe i still think theyre not as similar as young and adult rhaenyras but their acting is good.
I LOVE HER TOO i remember stumbling on ... young alicent actress T_T EMILY emily's tiktok and she was so ?????? SO COOL ???? WOW
do you have a fav hotd actor (beside daemon)? ok i think ill go end up my essay and go to bed.
ig i like tom glynn-carney (aegon) because ???? HES SO SWEET IRL WHICH WAS SHOCKING?? i mean he's so slimy as aegon SO ITS LIKE <3 <3 ??!!!! idk hES SO PUUPPPPY AND THATS WHY I MADE AEGON A PUPPY IN THE MODERN AU and yeah i like aemond's actor ewan mitchell too!!! he's a cutie pie as well AND ??? SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING????. I MEAN I ALSO LOVE EMMA theyre so HAS:FHSA <3 BUT I MEAN I ALSO LOVE OLIVA SHES so TAL:FHASL:FSA SOOOOOO <3 yes. HAHAHAHA
love you!! have a nice day/evening/night/life! good luck with the assignments! take care <з
i love you my baby <3 i hope youre doing well with your work and life and eveything. <3
xxx
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transbeeduo · 11 months ago
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OK SO ITS LIKE.
Obviously it was very stressful in the way that like. Tubbo was very not having the best time a lot of the time (sometimes Tubbo was a bit better and it was really nice i think the two of them really loved speculating on what Bug would look like and be like and stuff like that while cuddling it was nice) and oftentimes Ranboo would have to be the one taking care of matters like taking care of their family, which now included Tubbo because Tubbo’s pregnancy was fucking ROUGH on him. (Also wasn’t helped by how sometimes Tubbo would cling to Ranboo in a “please for the love of god dont leave if im alone with my thoughts rn im gonna bite my arm off” way) but also taking care of things surrounding Snowchester and its residents (I think Jack and Ponk live there I’m not quite sure who else… maybe Fundy and Puffy? Not sure also the hundred endermen living there <- in my canon) and it was just like. A lot more than Ranboo realized he was going to be dealing with + combined with how bad Tubbo was feeling the whole time it was VERY stressful for them! I think Ranboo’d also get almost. Protective? Over his family? Possibly due to how tense Tubbo was and that energy infecting Ranboo to be really anxious too.
I think during Tubbo’s c-section Ranboo literally COULD NOT stand being in the room because the idea of seeing someone cut open was obviously EXTREMELY triggering to a post-dying by sword wound and revived with a big scar from it Ranboo. But I think when they got to go back in the stress made him act like a wild animal, instinctively eating Tubbo’s placenta (Enderman thing) and licking Bug clean like a cat. I think during those stressful first few weeks where Bug wasn’t liking normal milk Ranboo discovering that he could breastfeed it was instinct too, along with how they’d carry Bug with them EVERYWHEREEEE like a little tiny baby block very cute but yeah NOT FUN
ohhhh i havent even touched on how the stress of the pregnancy stuff affected Ranboo yet have i,,,,,,
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iwadori · 3 years ago
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When they leave you on your wedding day (Sakusa, Bokuto)
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Genre: angst
Word count: 1.7K
masterlist
Sakusa’s will make more sense if you read this you don’t have too but it’ll help.
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Sakusa:
“Y/N,” you hear knocks on the door outside your dressing room “I-I need to talk to you.”    
“But Omi, a groom must never see their bride until they meet at the alter,” you say behind the door.
“I-It’s important, and I must tell you right now.” he says a bit more intensely
“Okay, Okay... you can come in but im hiding in the closet since my dress is already on.”
“Ok.”
You hear the door open and shut, and a lot of pacing around of what you can presume was his fresh wedding shoes trotting against the hard wood floors.
“Omi,” you call wondering why he hasn’t spoken yet “Is everything okay?”
“Umm yes I-it's fine...it just I-” he says pausing
“Just what?”
“I don’t really know how to say this Y/N, I don’t really know how to say it’s just-” he says again pausing himself taking a deep breath.
“Just what Omi? Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet love,” you say laughing at the thought of it, but your laughter ceased when you don’t hear the ‘Of course I don’t have cold feet Y/N’ that you were expecting.
“Omi?” you asked again, hoping he had he was still going to give you the response you wanted.
“Omi..” you repeated.
“Omi!” you say finally, now exiting the room (with your wedding dress on) to see why your fiance was not responding.  
To your shock, Omi was sitting down on a couch with his face in his hands with soft sobs coming from his mouth and runny tears and snot coming from his eyes and nose. “Omi whats wrong?” you say loudly, alerting him,
“Y/N you look beautiful!” he says sniffling.
“Omi you were meant to say that at the alter, but now that your crying forget about the dress... what’s wrong?” you say sitting down next to him.
“I don’t know how to say this...” he starts, looking away from you  
“Say what? Omi look at me...” you say feeling anxious  
“We...We can’t get married today,” he says still with his eyes off you.
“What do you mean, we can’t get married.” you ask but you get no answer,
“Omi answer me,”
“Say something please!” you say turning his body so that he’s facing you, his eyes are all puffy and bloodshot from the crying and now tears are filling yours “What do you mean Omi,”
“Remember Ex’s name?” he says confusing you cause what did she have to do with anything.
“Yes I remember her, I remember vividly being the girl you cheated on her with after you claimed you were ‘breaking up with her’ so I had to tell her.” you scoff “so yes, I definitely remember Y/N, what about her?”
“We recently umm how can I say this,” he says struggling for words “reconnected... and I do truly miss her and she’s made me rethink some things, see some things...”
“And those things are?”
“I’ve always loved her, she’s always been my one. The one.” he says smiling a bit at the thought of her making you feel sick.
“But Omi what about us? What about the wedding that’s going to happen in less than an hour?”
“Im sorry Y/N I’ll tell everyone what has happened.”
“I don’t want you to do that, I want you to marry me.” you say desparetly “please Omi, why her? Why now..”
“It’s always been her, and you’ve known that.” he says standing up “The day you told her about our ONE NIGHT stand, was the day that I thought I couldn’t live on, but when you came and accepted the pathetic mess I was, I gladly dated you since I had nothing else to loose...but its been 4 years since then I'm a changed man and EX NAME is a changed girl, a forgiving girl and the spark we had wasn’t lost I guess...and Im happy now”
“But what about me?” you say crying “What about me? And my happiness, don’t I deserve that? Don’t I deserve to finally be happy.”  
“Y/N, you do deserve to be happy. But not with me, not at the stake of my own happiness, I wont allow it.”
“Omi bu-”
“God Y/N, don’t be so desperate!” he said agressively “Im sorry for stopping the wedding, I know your parents have put in alot of money in it and I will certainly pay them back... in due time of course.”
“You’re sorry for stopping the wedding?” you say angrily “Not sorry for stopping this relationship. Stopping the longlasting feelings ive felt for you since the day I met you?”
“Cut the crap Y/N, all we did was have one night stand.” he says rolling his eyes and unbuttoning his top botton of his shirt and loosening his tie I dont know why but this Is what guys do when theyre mad in the movies.
“Your such a liar Omi, you used to come into my work place everyday flirting with me talking about how much you wanted me, PINING AFTER ME, making me fall in love with you and not even telling me you had a girlfriend at the time.” you yell “and you summarise that all to me falling in love with you after one measly one night stand.”
“I don’t want to do this Y/N,” he says heading to the door “We’re finished. No more wedding. No marriage. And definitely don’t contact me after this. We’re through.” he slams the door behind him, leaving you alone and jilted in your wedding dress.
You get why he broke it off with you, and technically you do play a small part to blame. You were the one that told his girlfriend that you slept with him and then dated him afterwards, so I guess ‘how you get them, is how you lose them’ definitely works in this case.
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Bokuto
The bokuto and L/N wedding was going to be a joyous occasion. Your soon to be husband told everybody he saw that he were to be wed with you, he couldn’t contain his excitement.
“Bokuto calm down, we’ll be married soon.” was what you always said, whenever he started his rambles to which he always replied “I know Y/N, I cant wait.”
When it came to your grand day, you were excited from the moment you woke up you were buzzing, wondering if Bokuto was feeling even a half of the feelings that you felt.  
You looked beautiful in your dress, anticipating the look on Bokuto’s face when he sees you at that alter. Your wedding party was already at the hotel you were getting married at whilst Bokuto’s got ready at the houe and decided to drive there.
So after you got ready, all you had to do is wait for Kuroo, one of Bokuto’s best men, to tell you when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle.  
You were impatient, your leg was shaking now you knew how Bokuto felt when he rambled on how excited he was for you to become Bokuto Y/N. You finally heard a knock on the door and you dashed to open it,
“Kuroo, thank god you’re here!” you exclaim giving him a hug “I’ve been waiting ages for you, lets go! Take me to my future husband.” You pull his arm practically trying to run and see your man before Kuroo pulls your arm halting you.
“Y/N...” he says shifting his eye sight from left to right “I think we should sit down for a minute.”
“Why? Is he not here yet, gosh he’s always been late to things” you joke “but fine we can sit for a minute or two.”
As you sat, Kuroo turns his body to you putting his hands on your knees with his eyes looking sad “Y/N. I don’t know how to say this but...” he gulps putting his head down “there’s been an accident.”
“Accident? What do you mean accident? What happened? Is everyone okay.” you ask a bit frantically, since it would sad for someone to be hurt on your wedding day.
“That’s the thing Y/N, Bokuto he..”  
“Bokuto what? He’s okay.. Right?” you ask staring at Kuroo “He’s fine right?”
“No he isnt,” he says
“What do you mean he isn’t what happened, where is he? I need to see him.” you say getting up before Kuroo pulls you back down.
“He isn’t anywhere... well anywhere for you to see him. There weren’t enough cars for us, well there were but one of them the engine wasn’t starting and it sound a bit dodgy. But Bokuto said, he insisted for us all to be there. I even offered to let him take my spot in the other cars, I did Y/N I really did, but he promised us that he’d be fine. He left a bit before he did, saying that if he had chance to wander around the hotel it may calm his nerves. But when we were driving, we saw this car all mangled up on the side of the road, it was his. I told him not to drive that car, I told him and he did and I-” he rambled with tears pooling in his eyes “Im sorry Y/N im really sorry.”
“But why why didn’t you call?”
“He told us not too, he said that he wanted you be to as happy as you could be on this day as he knew it wouldn’t end with you becoming his wife.”
“But the ambulance, you called an ambulance right?”
“He was D.O.A, Akaashi went with him since he knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to deliver the news to you.”
“Why? Why did he leave me? On our wedding day, it was supposed to be our day and now hes gone Kuroo hes gone.” you wail, but kuroo wraps his arms around you in a brotherly hug as he cries too.  
That’s how you spend your wedding night, crying in your friends arms over the loss of your ‘husband’ and his ‘brother.’
Bokuto’s funeral was the week after, and it was not an event you were excited for. It was a hard day to get through, but you did it with the help of Kuroo and Akaashi. You visit Bokuto every year on your wedding anniversary talking to your husband even though it always reminds you of the day that never came to be.
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This is the wedding angst that is a gift from me to you sweetheart @teesumu you can totally block me after this cause girll I cried whilst writing it.
If you want a nice ending to the bokuto story to make you feel better read this
General taglist [bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi, @iimoonii, @hamdehlesmis, @Shoyosupremacy, @iambashfulperson, @kayleighbeccaa, @dearkousei, @bakugouswh0r3, @xedspirits @borpcorp, @soft-angel-clouds, @foxxtrot-116 @Xogiaaa, @jesssobs, @apple-poptarts @galagcica @letssssus, @random-734, [join the taglist here]
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lilysdaydreams · 4 years ago
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The Artist and The Musician
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→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don’t think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.
→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader
→ Genre: Fluff.
→ Words: 5.6k
→ Request:  Hey! It’s me again lmao I was curious maybe like sykunno or raes little sister (like 2 or 3 years younger) meets the group and her and corpse just click. How would either of them react to them hearing the news that their little sis is dating corpse and like they’ve moved in together and everything idk I thought it’d be cute���
→ Warnings: Swearing.
→ Authors Note: Its been a hard couple of weeks and im really sorry that this took so long to be done but depression rlly hit me and I could barely move myself. I hope you enjoy this, and if you do, please comment some words of encouragement or feedback 💛
→  if you have some spare change , consider buying me a coffee.
You sighed as you finally dropped the last box in your new room, stretching to get rid of the pains in your back. Grabbing your phone, you moved over to Sykkunos room, knocking before sticking your head in.
"You want subway?" you asked when he looked up from the computer. He nodded with a quick smile, and as you closed the door behind you, you could hear him talking to the stream, letting them know that it was just his sister. Quickly ordering on Ubereats, you slumped on the sofa, closing your eyes and resting for a bit.
You had decided to move in with Sykkuno a month ago, the same week you'd decided to drop out of college. It wasn't something your parents were happy with, but after seeing how big your art and business had gotten, they had let you drop out. You'd dropped out and moved to LA, moving into an apartment with Sykkuno since he had to leave the OTV house. Sykkuno had moved in a week earlier which was why his room and computer was all set up. You'd only moved in today, spending a few weeks at home with your parents before leaving for LA. Stretching, you grabbed your phone, checking how long it would be until the food came, and then clicking on Instagram. Your most recent post was of this morning, a photo of you sitting on top of half the boxes in your room, throwing a peace sign at the camera. Sykkuno had taken it for you, the whole process taking 10 minutes cuz you made him take it at 45 different angles. Scrolling through the comments, you liked a few, replying to the ones by your best friends.
@selinaissss: "HOW DARE YOU LOOK THIS PERFECT AT 8 IN THE MORNING????"
→ @junefarie: i look like a racoon dont u dare
@onlyalyssa: "we need a house tour"
→ @junefarie: bitch I dont even have a bed yet
You grabbed the subway order when the bell rang, saying a quick thank you to the delivery man. You left yours on the table, and went to Sykkunos room, yelling "Sykkuno catch!" before throwing it at him, giggling as he leapt forward from his chair to catch it. Closing the door softly behind you, you jumped onto the couch, sitting cross-legged, grabbing your sketchbook and pencils from your backpack and setting them on your lap. It was time to wind down a bit.
~
It was a week later and you had unpacked fully, now focusing more on creating new pieces of art for a shop update. You were also working on some designs specifically for shirts and hoodies. Sykkuno found you in front of your computer, blanket wrapped around you and glasses perched on your nose as you emailed the manufacturer you were working with for the hoodies.
"Un, y/n?" he said hesitantly knocking on the door. You spun around in your chair, raising your eyebrows at him. "What's up?"
He walked in, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed and you got your water from the table, taking a sip as you wait for him to talk.
"I um- You know how I- I play Among Us right?" he asked, scratching his neck.
You hummed in response, urging him on with a nod. Sykkuno was almost never this nervous around you. Most of the time, you guys talked normally, joking and teasing each other. For him to be stuttering around you, he must have been extremely nervous.
"Well, you know Rae right? She um, she asked me to make a lobby," he said, standing up and pacing now. You furrowed your brows, confused as to where this was going.
He was explaining what a lobby was (which what the fuck, you watched his streams, of course you knew what a lobby was, why was he explaining that) when you cut him off, getting up and grabbing his shoulders to stop him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked, holding his shoulders with both your hands.
He sighed and slumped into you, his head coming to a rest on your shoulder.
"Rae asked me to make a lobby and it's the first time I've ever made one and I'm really nervous about it. I've already invited people, but um I was wondering if you wanted to join as well? I- It would help me to have you there." he muttered, the words muffled as he spoke into your shoulder.
"Me?" you asked, a little shocked because you had never played among us before.
He nodded against your shoulder.
"Um sure!" you said, wrapping your arms around his middle, "It'll be fun!"
"And hey," you added on when he didn't say anything after that, "I can meet all your friends as well!"
He finally lifted his head a little, smiling as he muttered out a quick "Thanks y/n."
"However," you added, jumping back onto your seat and wiggling your eyebrows at him. "You have to buy me pizza for tonight's dinner."
He chuckled, grabbing his phone and already mutterng the order to himself as he opened up the ubereats app and walked out of the room.
You turned back to the laptop humming a tune under your breath. From interactions like this, most people would probably assume that you were older but the truth was that Sykkuno was 5 years older than you. Your roles were reversed and you were probably more protective over him than anyone else. Once in high school a girl had called him cute and asked him for his number only to write it on the bathroom walls. After the first three prank calls, you'd taken the phone from him yelling at anyone who called that if they called again, that you'd personally track them down and shove a dildo up their ass.
Both of you had always been close, but with the amount of bullying and teasing he got in high school, you'd got even closer, eventually becoming his best friend in a way. Seeing Sykkuno grow as a person, get new friends who were genuinely nice and kind made you the happiest person alive. When Sykkuno had first started streaming you'd been worried, scared that people online would say something mean. When he had first started streaming with other streamers and then met Lily and all his other friends, you had been anxious, worrying that they might only be putting up a friendly facade. You were also the happiest though when he grew even closer to them, when he smiled more, laughed more, talked more.
You had yet to meet or talk to any of his friends, mostly because you'd been in college, and the pandemic had made it harder. Maybe it was finally time.
~
The day came and you sat in your room, once again a blanket wrapped around you, glasses perched on your nose as you accepted the discord invite Sykkuno sent you.
"DO I GO IN THE CHAT THINGY?" you yelled to Sykkuno, hearing a "YES" before clicking on the voice chat.
You mumbled a "hello", wondering if your mic was on.
"Hey, yeah I can hear you y/n."
Breathing a sigh of relief, you logged into the game, smiling as you heard sykkuno introduce you to his chat. "Hi everyone," you said, feeling a bit weird only talking to a screen. You rubbed your hands, a little nervous to be doing this.
Just then someone else joined and before you could even speak another three people joined as well, all of them yelling hello as they joined.
"He- Hey guys, how's everyone doing?" started sykkuno.
"Im doing great oh my god, guess what guys, I'm-" started Rae, cutting herself off. "wait, whos um "ms snores a lot"?
You were a bit confused for a second, furrowing you eyebrows for a second before realising what had happened.
"SYKKUNO YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK?" you yelled, staring at the name underneath the voice channel that you now realised belonged to you. You could hear Sykkunos laughter from the other room but you just spluttered indignantly. He was the one who had set up everything on your computer yesterday because technology was something that you rarely messed around with.
"Sykkunooo" you whined, when he kept laughing, "How the fuck do I change it now?"
"Um wait, sykkuno who is this?" asked Rae, the other three echoing her. You glanced at the names and from the voices figured out that it was Rae, Toast, Sean and Corpse in the lobby.
"Hey okay, so guys this is my sister, her names y/n and we recently moved in together, so I asked her to be in the lobby because... um.." he said stuttering at the end to find a reason.
"Because he wanted to embarrass me apparently!" you exclaimed, giving him a way out.
"Oh god, um - you can change it in settings, at the bottom near where your name is."
"Ahhh," you said finding it and then simply typing in your art business name.
"Its nice to meet everyone by the way," you started. "I've been watching your videos for ages so it almost fels like I already know you"
Raes voice started in your ears and you winced at the volume befoe turning it down a bit.
"I would love to say that Sykkuno has told us a lot about you, but the truth is that he keeps a lot of secrets and I didnt even know he had a sister, I AM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW"
You gasped. "Sykkuno what the fuck, you didn't even tell Rae?"
"You told me not to tell a lot of people!" he protested.
You heard someone saying "they're so different!' but you ignored it and kept talking.
"Yeah at the start! and on stream! I can't believe you never even said you had a sister." you spluttered out, followed by another gasp.
"Are you embarrassed of me?" you whispered dramatically.
"N-What no of course not!" he exclaimed, and you could also imagine how wide his eyes would have gotten.
You giggled before telling him that you were only joking.
"Um since sykkuno is embarrassed of me," you said jokingly, "I'll just tell you myself."
"I'm like five years younger than sykkuno, I'm a June baby, I do art, my star sign is cancer, I'm 5'4, I recently moved in with sykkuno, and my favourite colour is purple!"
"Oh is that why your username is junefarie? Because you were born in June?" asked Sean.
Before you could say yes, someone else cut in.
"Wait, junefarie?" asked corpse, "like the artist?"
Your eyes widened as you realised that he knew you. Sure you had quite a few followers, but you never expected any of Sykkunos friends to know you from there.
"Um yeah," you said letting out a shocked laugh, "I didnt expect anyone here to know about me."
"Dude, your art is fire!" he exclaimed, voice louder now. "I was honestly thinking of buying a piece soon, I've followed you for ages!"
"Wait, I wanna see as well." whined Rae, "Ima look you up, are you on Instagram?"
"Um," you said still shocked by the fact that somone this big knew you. "yeah I'm on instagram, its just junefarie." you said first replying to Rae, "Um corpse, thankyou so much! thats so nice of yo!"
"Um my art isn't that great yet," you chuckled, embarrassed by all the attention now. "I'm hoping to improve a lot more and I have a bunch of ideas for it as well. I'm hoping to work more now that I moved in with Sy."
"Oh my god, this is amazing," whispered Rae, Toast and Sean echoing her. You ducked your head even though no one could see you. Your cheeks were blazing hot and you pressed your hands to them to cool yourself down.
"Thankyou," you mumbled, not sure what to say.
Someone else entered the lobby, and said "hi" and you welcomed the source of distraction.
"Hi! I'm Sykkunos sister, y/n!" you said , wanting to move away from the topic of your art.
The reply of "sykkuno has a SISTER?" made everyone laugh, successfully moving the attention to Sykkuno and off your art. Finally Sykkuno started the game and you breathed as you lost yourself in the art of gaming.
"OH MY GOD!" yelled Rae as the game ended and everyone appeared in the lobby. "That was like amazing, Y/N I cant belive you pulled that off!"
She was talking about the last game where there was 50/50 between corpse and Sykkuno (because you refused to kill sykkuno when you were imposter) and you somehow managed to convince Sykkuno that it was Corpse.
"Honestly, neither can I!" you exclaimed back staring at your screen, eyes blurring the screen because of how tired you were.
"I can't believe Sykkuno," mumbled corpse. "I literally said I saw her vent and kill toast and Sykkuno was still like "hmmm, I don't think so."
Giggling at Sykkunos yell of "SHES MY SISTER" you yelled out a bye as everyone started leaving and then struggled to find a way to end the call.
"Wait, how do I end it," you muttered to yourself.
You jumped as Corpse talked, not expecting anyone to be there.
"You can see yoru name at the bottom left right? Its above that but a little to the right." he said chucling a little.
"Oh." you said, you cheeks heating up. You didnt know if it was because of him or because you were utterly useless with technology.
"Um thankyou," you said awkwardly.
"No problem."
You exited out of the call, a small smile at your lips.
Sykkunos friends were nice.
~
After the stream, your fanbase grew, and with it, the number of orders as well. For the next week, you were buried under orders, only leaving the house to go to the post office.
An Instagram post on @junefarie account: 
[ID: A photo of y/n and sykkuno standing in the middle of the living room, packages scattered everywhere. Y/n is hugging Sykkuno tight and Sykkuno is staring at the camera, a distressed look on his face.]
Caption: Thankyou so much for all my supporters and all the love shown to me. Sending out loads of orders and I cant wait for you gusy to get yours! Special thanks to @sykkuno for helping me send out orders. luv yu.
Comments: 
@Sykisacutie: best sibling duo!
@valkyrae: hope my order is in their as well.
→ I SCREAMED WHEN SY TOLD ME THAT WAS YOUR NAME.
@corpse_husband: sykkuno looks like he's accepted death.
→ @sykkuno: I would have welcomed death at that point
→ @corpse_husband @sykkuno: okay ill be honest, I would have welcomed death as well.
@ariesin: go best friend, go! we need to get together to paint soon !!
→ SOONNNNNN
~
You flopped onto your bed, every part of your body hurting. Carrying boxes filled with orders down the stairs had tired your whole body, which wasn't used to any exercise at all. That had taken practically the whole day and then you had to clean your room because the mess from the orders had barely left any room to move. You flung your hand to the side, grabbing your phone from the table and bringing it up to your face. The "1:02" was clearly visible on your screen and you unlocked the phone, heading to Twitter. Scrolling through your feed, you liked a few tweets from friends before gearing yourself up and moving to the messages. Ever since you'd played with Corpse, Sykkuno and everyone, you'd been getting a lot of messages. Most of them were just the streamers fans, asking you if you know them or telling you to take care of sykkuno. There were a few though that targeted you, telling you that your art sucked, that they didn't know why Corpse could like my art. You'd taken to deleting them before sleeping so that your inbox wouldn't get cluttered and you could still find any serious requests or messages from your followers. Therefore, you didn't really think anything of it when there was another message from someone with a Corpse icon and you clicked on it only to see the message and gasp, immediately sitting up in bed.
Corpse_Husband → Hey, I was wondering if I could work with you on something? I really love your art and was wanting to commission or collaborate for an album cover or some merch designs. Message me on this number cuz I barely see my dms.
Underneath was a number.
"Oh my god," you whispered, unsure as to what to do.
When you had decided to drop out of college, you had expected hard days. You had expected your normal orders and mostly just improving your art and marketing it more. You had expected long days and not much money in the bank account. You certainly had not expected the immense amount of orders you'd gotten. Along with that, the amount of love and support had taken you by surprise and you had spent the last night crying because of how much love you and your art were getting.
You had also not expected such a big opportunity just landing at your feet.
Quickly you clicked on the number, putting it in your contacts with the name Corpse and then writing a quick message.
"Hey I got your twitter dm! I've personally never done art for merch or album covers but I would love the opportunity!"
You bit your lip, confused as to whether that was enough before deciding it was fine and just sent it.
Your heart beat a little faster as you slumped back onto the bed.
~
@junefarie Instagram story:
[ID: A zoomed-in picture of a drawing, the only part that was visible was curly hair. The text read: "Working on something SO COOL"]
~
Your phone was ringing. Stuffing the rest of the pizza in your mouth, you swept your hand over the covers of your bed, trying to find it. With a muttered "aha", you grabbed it and swiped on the call before it ended. Pressing the phone to your ear, you mumbled a "hello", still chewing the pizza bite.
A low rapsy voice came out of the speaker, one that you definitely didn't expect. You choked on the pizza, coughing out pieces onto the bed.  Sure you guys had messaged each other a bit (you kinda had to because of the commission), but you hadn't expected him to call out of nowhere.
"Um I hope this isn't a bad time," he said when you didn't respond for a second. Of course, he didn't exactly know that hearing his voice so close to your ear had you frozen for a second.
"Um no," you replied, coughing slightly to clear your throat. "It's fine! What did you wanna talk about?"
"Oh, um I know you're already working on the commission and its looking great! I can't wait to work with the merch team to create something really cool with it, but um-" he broke off for a second sounding hesitant. "I really wanna get another commission done as well."
"Oh?" you said after a second when he didn't reply. "I'd be happy to do another one for you!"
"Uh yeah, but I'm afraid that I might be a bit late, You see I was wondering if it could be done before Christmas?"
You sucked in a breath as you counted the days in your mind.
"Hmm, it depends on how big it is tbh. There's still 2 weeks to go till Christmas so I could fit it in," you mumbled, biting your lip as you remembered the onslaught of orders you still had to send out.
"Well," he started and you smiled a little as the excitement crept into his voice. "You know that Sykkuno, Rae, Toast and me are called the 4 Amigops right? I kinda wanted a portrait of all 4 of us, in our um among us colors, and I basically wanted to print it out and send to each of them for Christmas."
"Aww, that sounds like such a good idea, I'm sure they'll all love it!" you smiled, thinking about how much Sykkuno would appreciate that.
"Uh thanks," he mumbled, "do you think you can get it done?"
"Sure!" you replied immediately. You did have a lot of orders, yes, but like, you could fit Corpse in. If you pulled a few all-nighters. "I'll send you the sketches soon okay?"
"Oh thank god, thankyu so much for this y/n, I really appreciate it. Youre one of my favourite artists and I'm really happy that I could finally commisison you after so long."
"So long?" you questioned. "Since when have you known about my art?"
There was a moment of silence and then "Um, around the time you still posted your sketches and stuff I guess?"
You furrowed your eyebrows thinking for a second before letting out a gasp.
"Corpse that was 4 years ago!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, oh my god, I cant believe you've seen those, I was so bad then!"
"No no, they were really good at that time as well! I was so shocked when Sykkuno told us you were his sister because like, I'd been following you for ages and I had absolutely no idea. You guys are like really different."
"Hah yah, Sykkunos so soft, and then there's me. An actual devil."
"Your usernames so different as well! I remember when I first saw a picture of you on your account and I was kind of shocked because based on the name junefarie, I was expecting someone very soft I guess but then you were literally the opposite and wearing actual devil horns."
"Oh god, that was one of the first few photos I posted of myself. that was on Halloween I think,", you took a deep breath still shocked that Corpse had known about you for that long,
"Yeah, I chose junefarie because...”
It was 2 hours later when Corpse said that he should probably be working on his music.
"Oh I'm so sorry," you apologized, "I didn't mean to keep you,"
"Oh no, I um, I liked talking to you."
Your breath caught for a moment and you smiled like a lunatic at your Pokémon covered bedsheets.
"I liked talking to you as well," you whispered out, heart sinking a little as you realized the call would be ending soon.
"Um, do you, maybe want to stay on call? like I'll just be writing and we can just chill?" he asked and you felt like your prayers had been answered.
"yes" you said quickly, not giving him a chance to back out.
He chuckled, and you fell in love a little.
Just a little.
~
You continued like that, calling each other every few days, talking so much and then at times, not talking at all, simply content with each others company.
He had even started facetiming you, the first time with a mask and then the second without it. You hadn't made a big deal about it, but the first time you saw him, you could barely breathe.
There were five days left until Christmas when you got the idea.
You were entirely not subtle about it, because, well to be honest, there wasn't a subtle bone in your body.
"Hey Corpse, do you like surprises?" you had asked, in the middle of colouring Raes hair (her hair was the last thing left before you could finally print the goddamn thing)
"It depends," he had murmured after a second, voice sending shivers down your spine like every time. Now whether that was because of his voice or because of him, you weren't entirely sure.
"on what?" you prodded when he refused to answer.
"On whether its a good one or a bad one" he had huffed out.
You had hummed, waited for a second and then blurted out that next question because you did not have a cent of patience.
"So what are you doing at Christmas?"
"Sleeping, if I can manage it," he replied, his voice taking on a sardonic tone, eyes flicking to you on the screen. The only thing he could see though was the top of your head because you had your iPad on the bed and were laying over it as you drew.
"Not with that attitude you aren't," you replied right back, making a small smile appear across his face.
"Hmmm, okay!" you said when he didn't reply.
He looked back over, eyebrows furrowed and mouth opening as he started to question you.
"Hey did you see the video I sent you?" you quickly asked distracting him from his question.
He would probably guess the surprise but that was okay. You only wanted to make a smile appear on his face. And honestly, for someone with anxiety, a small warning of a surprise was definitely needed.
~
It was Christmas day and you woke Sykkuno up at 6 in the morning with the promise that you'd buy him McDonald's. 30 minutes later, you were both in the car, yelling the lyrics to "All I want for Christmas" at the top of your lungs.
You had told sykkuno of your plan a few days ago and he had smiled at you with that stupid smile, agreeing with a small "alright."
You'd immediately realised that he knew. Even though you pretended otherwise, Sykkuno was the older one and the thing about older siblings was that they always knew.
They always knew.
So there you were, snacks loaded into your car, McDonald's fries practically everywhere, and a cake you had made in the backseat, on your way to Corpses house.
There was a lull in the music, and you were only 30 minutes away from his place, butterflies fluttering in your stomach when Sykkuno asked you a question.
"You like him right?" he murmured, head leaning against the window, eyes closed.
There was a moment of silence as you thought about what to say. Did you like Corpse? Of course, you liked Corpse! He was funny, he was nice, he made you feel like you were the only person that mattered and your heart beat faster than ever whenever he looked at you. Hell, that was through a screen, in real life, it would probably be even worse. So of course you liked him! The question was, did he like you back?
"Yeah," you answered Sykkuno, eyes straight on the road.
A second passed and then he smiled. "Good," he replied. and well. That was that. You sighed.
At least you had your brothers blessing.
~
Pulling into the apartment building, you breathed in, your heart beating a million times a second and the butterflies in your stomach had turned into snakes. Maybe, maybe this wasn't a good idea at all. I mean, you expected Corpse to get the hint but what if he didn't? and what if he didn't want you to come? Maybe you were being too quick. After all, It'd only been a month since you'd met.
These thoughts plagued your mind as you trudged up the stairs, turning to Sykkuno as you reached the door.
"Maybe we shouldn't have come," you whispered to him.
He looked at you, eyebrows high, "We just travelled two hours to get here. There's no way im going back without at least giving him the print."
"What if he doesn't want us to be here?" you hissed.
"Then we'll go away." he stated, "after we give him the print."
"But what if-"
Before you could even finish your sentence, the door opened and you both jumped, turning to face the person standing in the doorway.
You forced yourself to breathe as you finally saw him. It was him. Wearing a black beanie, half his hair spilling out the sides, stubble clear on his chin... it was him. At that moment, there was only one thought in your mind.
You were gonna marry this man.
"You suck at whispering," he said, and you huffed out a laugh, jumping onto him without even responding. You wrapped your arms around him, not letting go until Sykkuno cleared his throat from behind you.
You turned back immediately, grabbing the stuff in Sykkunos hands so he could greet Corpse too. As they awkwardly did their handshake/fistbump thing, you walked over to the couch behind them, putting down the print and the takeaway bags, and putting the cakebox down on the table.
You turned around to see them both standing there staring at you.
"Surprise?" you said when no one else spoke. That broke the ice a little and you grabbed the print from the couch thrusting it at Corpse.
"Open it. Open it. Open it." you mumbled, your heart beating fast as he carefully ripped the paper off. The smile that overtook his face made your heart immediately calm.
"It's beautiful," he whispered, eyes roaming everywhere, trying to take it all in. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head further into the apartment, mumbling that he was going to put it in the room, eyes still on the print as he walked there.
"You smile is gonna blind me," muttered Sykkuno.
"Oh shut up."
~
A few hours later, you stood in the kitchen, putting the leftover cake into Corpses fridge. You had all chilled, eating cake and the takeout that you and sykkuno had bought, laughing every few minutes. It felt like you were all on an adrenaline rush. You had facetimed Rae and Toast, Rae shrieking when she realised where you guys were. Sykkuno had just fallen into a nap, still tired from being wakened up so early, you assumed.
You leaned against the kitchen bench, smiling as Corpse walked in.
"Thankyou." he said as he came to a stop next to you, matching your position.
"For what?" you mused, even though you had a good enough idea.
"For the print. For coming here. For making my Christmas, a much happier affair than it has been my whole life." he stated, chuckling at the last point.
You turned your head sideways, and you didn't know what it was, but something about his face made you spurn into action. You grabbed his collar, pulled him down, and kissed him before he could even say anything. It would be too cliche to say that fireworks erupted. And if you were being honest they didn't. Instead, it felt like everything was finally right. You fit perfectly in his arms as they wrapped themselves around you, and you smiled into the kiss as he lifted you up, making you sit at the counter. You twirled the hair at the nape of his neck with your left hand, taking a deep breath in as you both slowed down and pulled away.
"Well," he whispered, "that was unexpected."
You raised a single eyebrow. Honesty you'd done a lot for this relationship. You just drove for nearly 3 hours! If he wanted it to progress, he was gonna have to say it himself.
"But not unwelcome," he continued when you didn't speak. A moment passed, where you could see that he was psyching himself up to say something. Finally, with a heaving sigh, he whispered  "Darling, would you do me the honour of being called yours?"
You melted right there.
A nod was all he needed before he grabbed your lips with his again, both of you giggling when he accidentally hit the side of your mouth instead of the lips.
The sound of a picture being taken filled the air, making you spring apart and swing your heads over to the doorway, which had sykkuno leaning against it, his phone in his hand.
"Thank god. Rae and Toast bet that you wouldn't confess until after Christmas, so now they both owe me 20 bucks." he said, now fiddling on the phone. "Dont worry Corpse, I'll add a circle over your face or something."
Your mouth dropped open as you stared at your brother.
"You bet on my love life?" you scoffed, still shocked.
At his nod though, you swung off the bench, marching until you were eye to eye to him.
"I want half the winnings."
Rolling his eyes, he turned back to the living room, jumping onto the sofa.
"C'mon, let's watch one more episode before heading back," he said and you jumped in next to him, patting the space next to you as Corpse came in behind you.
You grabbed Sykkunos hand and squeezed it, letting him know that you were grateful that he didn't make it such a big deal. Leaning your head on corpses shoulder, you smiled to yourself.
You'd have to leave in 30 minutes, to drive back to your parents and spend the rest of Christmas with them, leaving Corpse behind. And that made you a bit sad sure, but it couldn't overpower the feeling of pure happiness at being here. At giving him a happier Christmas. You smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
Nothing could overpower this feeling of absolute happiness.
fin.
Corpse husband taglist:  @mythicalamphitrite @ramble-writes @atsumubabe @anxiouskat5646 @itssierramcquade @xaestheticalien @jotaroslightning @starstruckllamapuppy @gxldenskiez @shinyshimaagain @cavanana @fee-btheweeb (send an ask to be added!)
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h2bakugou · 4 years ago
Note
hi love! can i request an angst to fluff with bakugo? maybe where he cheats and reader catches him. we dont go back to cheaters so maybe kiri and reader end up together and bakugo just regrets. i dont have any specifics in mind so feel free to let this play out however you want! just hurt me.
if this is too much or you dont wanna write this feel free to just ignore it! love you, have a great day!
a/n: hii hun!! ooo this is something i don’t think i’ve done before. i feel like i don’t write really good angst but this is a good prompt so i hope i write it well!! thank you for the request hun!! 
summary: you thought things were going good with bakugou until you catch him cheating on you. distraught, you find comfort in the arms of your closest friend, and something blossoms much stronger than before.
key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk
warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, cheating/mentions of cheating, established relationship with bakugou, bakugou’s a dick, kirishima is a real bro of the people and straight up puts his ass on blast
word count: 3.1k (so- i got carried away...god i hope this is good if not im so sorry angst is not my strong suit please-)
;cut for length;
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It was the day after your three-month anniversary with Bakugou. You’d spent all day together yesterday, and for the most part, everything seemed normal.
Perhaps it was because Bakugou wasn’t texting the girl he’d been secretly hanging out with behind your back all day, or maybe it was because he’d planned to meet up with said girl after you finally left him alone.
Bakugou wasn’t interested in you anymore, but frankly stringing you along for his own benefit was a lot easier. Breaking it off would leave a bad image on his part, and the last thing he wanted was a smudged reputation.
Which was why he kept quiet about this other girl, and only met with her when he was certain he wouldn’t be caught. Sneaking off when everyone went to sleep because they assumed he was asleep.
It didn’t help that they lived fairly close to each other so taking time to leave school meant they could hang out with one another at their homes and suspicious eyes would be none the wiser.
Bakugou had lied to his mother about still being with you and claimed that you’d just moved on and left, making you look like the bad guy. So Mitsuki welcomed this newer girl, and showered her in affection much like she had done with you.
Except you were still with Bakugou. And he’d just told you he loved you again. Kissing the top of your head, seemingly unphased as you yawned, ready for bed.
“Goodnight.” You spoke quietly, wishing Bakugou a good night’s rest as you headed off down to Kirishima’s dorm, where you planned to watch him play a new game he’d recently gotten.
“Hey, Kiri!” You smiled, giving him a big warm hug. Kirishima’s heart ached at the little nickname you’d given him, squeezing and wrenching inside his chest as he smelled your sweet-smelling shampoo, your arms squeezing around him as you hugged him.
“Hey (Y/n), is that a new sweater?” Kirishima asked, smiling as he admired the crimson color.
“It is! I’m glad you noticed. It kinda reminds me of your hair now that I think about it.” You giggle, reaching up to ruffle his soft hair. He’d recently washed it and it currently laid down, unlike his normal hairstyle, his large pointy spikes were nowhere in sight.
Kirishima’s little heart only began to beat faster as you entered his room, sitting beside him as he loaded up the game. Resting your head on his shoulder, you would cheer him on as he played, currently whooping ass against Sero and Kaminari who he was playing with.
“Kaminari asked why you couldn’t come watch him play.” Kirishima chuckled, glancing over at you, noticing how tired you looked.
“Well, maybe I’d go watch him play if he didn’t suck.” You joked, hearing Sero ‘ooh’ over the burn you just slapped over Kaminari.
“Damn Kaminari, they got you good.” Kirishima teased, nudging your side as you giggled, sitting up. You stretched your arms and yawned. Kirishima quickly muted his mic and paused.
“You tired, let me walk you up to your dorm.” Kirishima was ready to tell the boys he’d be back in a few but you shook your head.
“I’ll be alright, keep playing. Kick some more ass for me.” You ruffled his hair once more and patted his head before heading out of his room, waving as he waved back.
You made it back to your room and got ready for bed, nearly falling asleep without realizing you didn’t have your phone.
It’d been maybe three hours, before you rolled over, curious about what time it was when you noticed the blank space on your nightstand, where your phone would usually charge.
Sitting up tiredly, you rubbed your eyes and glanced around. You’d completely lost it, you couldn’t find it anywhere, in your dorm at least. You were unsure if you’d had it when you visited Kirishima, but your only thoughts went to Bakugou.
Maybe you’d left it in his dorm when you visited to study with him. Now that you thought about it, you’d brought your books and stuff back down before he went to bed and you returned to tell him goodnight, but he never let you back inside.
It was dark outside, and completely silent in the dorms. Everyone was clearly asleep. Or so you thought.
Creeping up to Bakugou’s dorm, you were surprised to see a little light peeking under the door. You weren’t one to snoop, but you certainly knew for Bakugou to be up at this hour, something would have to be up, maybe he was sick, or couldn’t sleep?
You pressed your ear to the door and listened for a few seconds.
Those few seconds, time stood still.
“So when are we gonna make it official?” A girl’s voice wrecked through you, your eyes watering as you listened.
“I’m working on it. I just need (Y/n) to fucking leave me alone. All they do is follow me around like a lost fucking puppy, it’s annoying.”
This was not happening. He’d just said he loved me a few hours earlier. Why was he being so mean?
“Good, because I don’t how much longer I can keep this a secret. I need to see you, Katsu.” You wanted to throw up. You felt so sick. So hurt.
So betrayed.
You were overwhelmed with emotions, sadness, despair, hurt, anger.
Raising a fist, you pounded on that door like your life was in danger. You could hear a few whispers and footsteps as Bakugou quickly opened the door, surprised to see you. You barged in, shooting one glance at the girl sitting on his bed in one of his shirts, the same one you’d worn earlier that week.
You found your phone laying under a few papers on his dresser. You turned to see Bakugou just staring at you.
“Hey-”
“Don’t” You say quietly as you speed-walk past him and back down the hall. Bakugou doesn’t follow you, or try to stop you, or call out for you.
He slinks back into his dorm and resumes his time with his new girl, taking that as his sign that he was officially single.
Clenching your phone in one shaking hand, you can’t help but feel utterly worthless. And somehow your feet seemed to move on their own, right down to Kirishima’s dorm.
When you felt the door open, and heard a sleepy Kirishima ask if everything was okay, you finally realized you’d trekked down to his dorm without even realizing.
“N-no. It’s not okay, I’m not okay.” You whisper as he pulls you into him for a hug. He stands there, consoling you quietly, not even saying anything. Just rubbing your back as you sob into his shoulder.
He’s concerned, that’s evident by the way his expression is softened, and his eyebrows knit together, wondering just what had happened to have landed you here.
But as he finally pulls you back into his room, the only light coming from a pink and orange glowing Himalayan salt lamp. You’re shaking in his arms as you sink to the floor.
It’s the first time Kirishima’s ever seen you like this. 
So hurt.
“You don’t have to say anything, but I’m worried about you. You tell me when you’re ready okay? Do you need anything right now?” Kirishima’s spoke quietly, and softly, his large, rough hands for once being so gentle and delicate.
You sat and thought for a few minutes, just shaking in his arms as you tried to calm down. You were overwhelmed, too anxious about what had happened, if you weren’t enough for Bakugou.
But you finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two of you.
“I-I’m...” You breathed, finally looking up at Kirishima. You could feel the snot as it leaked from your nose and how wet your cheeks, chin, and neck were, but Kirishima didn’t look at you any differently. 
With red puffy eyes you glanced down and opened your mouth to speak.
“Bakugou, he was, I think...” You paused.
I saw what I saw. I heard her. That girl. He was cheating.
“Bakugou cheated on me.” You whimpered, more tears beginning to fall from your eyes. Your face fell back into Kirishima’s shoulder as your frame shook from pure despair.
Kirishima didn’t respond. He sat, his hands rubbing up and down your spine as you cried, anger boiling inside him.
Never, not even once, had he assumed, or even pondered that Bakugou would ever be unfaithful. His priorities of being on top seemed to overweigh everything else.
So when he’d started dating you, he was albeit a bit jealous, but he supported you and Bakugou’s relationship, despite wanting to be with you himself. But soon he realized you were taken by someone else, and he would respect that.
He changed his usual somewhat flirty comments, and kept things strictly friendly, but he couldn’t help but notice you still made his heart race.
But Bakugou, cheating? That was something he didn’t see coming. But regardless if it was shocking or not, it wasn’t right.
Kirishima didn’t agree with his actions at all, and seeing just how hurt you had been by his actions, it made him feel even angrier.
“Kirishima, I-I don’t know what to do. I thought he loved me. Why didn’t he love me?” You looked at him with tears pouring from your eyes. Broken sobs cracked from your wet lips, and Kirishima’s heart shattered.
Kirishima closed his eyes and placed a hand behind your head, nuzzling your face into his chest as he leaned into you, burying his own face into your shoulder.
“He’s an idiot. It’s gonna be alright. I promise.” Kirishima hushed you quietly, rocking you back and forth in his hold as you finally began to calm down, eventually falling asleep as he came to halt.
Reaching for a blanket, Kirishima wrapped it around you and held you tightly against him. His blood boiled inside him as he began to doze off himself.
“You are so amazing, please don’t let anyone tell you differently.” Kirishima whispered against your hair, resting his own eyes.
As time drained on during everyone’s slumber, a storm was brewing within Kirishima.
Waking in the morning, you awoke in Kirishima’s arms, just where you remembered falling asleep. You nudged him awake but that usual morning smile you wore whenever you’d see him in the common area for breakfast was no where in sight.
“Good morning.” You spoke quietly. It was awkward. But Kirishima quickly ruffled your hair.
“Bed head.” Kirishima pointed out, smiling at the disarray of your locks. You quickly turned away to try and fix what he was talking about.
“Hey relax, it’s okay.” Kirishima chuckled.
“I’m sorry for waking-”
“Don’t apologize. We’re gonna get through this together okay? I’m here to help however you need me too. Do you want me to walk with you to school?” Kirishima offered, helping you stand up as you both began to wake up.
“I think that would be nice. Thank you.” You can’t help but stare at the ground, feeling like a burden. You’d roped Kirishima in with your problems and now-
“I’m really sorry that Bakugou did that. It’s unmanly as hell. If he was unhappy he should’ve talked to you about it, going behind your back was straight up fucking idiotic.” Kirishima’s words sort of spilled out, immediately catching your attention.
“I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s okay. I agree with you. If he was upset or unhappy, I just wish he would’ve told me.” Your bottom lip quivers as you speak about it, the memories flashing through your mind of seeing that girl on his bed, him talking about you like you weren’t even together.
About how he despised you.
“Go get ready for class, I’ll meet you by the stairs in ten?” Kirishima was already pulling out his uniform and removing his shirt as you headed toward the door.
You nodded and left quickly, running to your room avoiding being seen. And just as he’d stated, you met up by the steps in ten minutes and headed downstairs.
And there he was, waiting, like nothing had happened. Kirishima’s hand shot to yours, holding it tightly as you walked in the opposite direction. He lead you through the back doors and outside where you took a deep breath of the crisp morning air.
“It’s gonna be difficult, but try not to think about him. Every time you find yourself drifting back to him, try and replace it with something that makes you happy, like uh braiding my hair! Or making paper airplanes with Kaminari and how you beat him every time.” Kirishima laughs, lifting your chin up with his thumb and forefinger.
“He did a really scummy thing, and it hurts, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m gonna help however I can, and however you need me too.” Kirishima’s support was flooding your system. Your heart felt warm, despite feeling broken and cold hours earlier.
You didn’t thank him verbally, instead you threw your arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly, smiling.
Kirishima hugged you back and smiled. He missed your smile. 
Days turned into weeks, and things had slowly gone back to normal. You smiled more often. You informed Kaminari and Sero about your split from Bakugou, and eventually told most your friends, but not in detail.
However, Kirishima stayed by your side the most. And as you healed, you realized how much Kirishima had been there for you through all of it. And how maybe you had possibly got tied into things too fast with Bakugou.
While a part of you did love Bakugou during your time together, now you were beginning to realize how you really felt for Kirishima, a flame that had begun to burn long before you and Bakugou had been together.
But it seemed as you healed, and began to move on, finding your own happiness outside of Bakugou and the way he had treated you, Bakugou began to miss you.
Missing the way you’d kiss him, or hug him before bed. Missing the way you left his shirts smelling like you. Or the way you would always write little love notes on his study sheets.
Seeing you spend more time with Kirishima, seeing you so genuinely happy, the kind of happy you seemed to be when you used to be with him, made him mad. It made him miss you.
And sooner or later, his anger bubbled over and he snapped.
“Aye what the fuck?!” Bakugou shouted, watching as you quickly cowered away from Kirishima as Bakugou approached the two of you.
“You got a problem? We can take this outside if we need to.” Kirishima spoke up, quickly earning most of the ears of your peers.
“Yeah why the fuck you up on them like that?” Bakugou stared at you. Your face contorted in anger as you stepped forward.
“I’m sorry?” You laughed, staring at the blonde who was now your ex-boyfriend.
“You better back the fuck up.” Kirishima commented. Kaminari and Sero quickly stood to aid, positioning themselves on either side of you, positive you could handle yourself against Bakugou, but albeit cautious.
“No. Why’re you all up on them, you fucking got a thing for them? Spit it out shitty-hair.”
“No. You don’t get a fucking say in this. You fucking cheater. Ruining something so fucking special. Do you have any fucking idea how badly you hurt them? You didn’t even care to apologize. You fucking asshole. You don’t get to be upset.” Kirishima snapped. A few gasps from students. Bakugou’s face dropped at Kirishima’s words.
“I-I was just bored! All we ever did was just hang out-but I-”
“You what, Katsuki?” You approached him. You stood right in front of him and shook your head.
“I loved you. I really did, I gave my all to you, I sacrificed time and effort to make you happy because I felt like I was nothing compared to you. I have never felt like I was so below someone while being with them until I was with you. Constantly compared to you, it was fucking awful. You’re a cheating piece of shit. And I’m so sorry that you miss me now because I certainly fucking don’t miss you.” You spoke, your chest heaving as you sighed, turning and pulling Kirishima outside, along with a few others who had sided with you. 
Bakugou stood silently, feeling the eyes of everyone on him, judging him as he headed up toward his dorm.
“That was awesome!” Kaminari cheered, patting your shoulder.
“I didn’t know I had that in me.” You smiled, hugging Kirishima. Kirishima stood silently beside you.
“Hey, you okay? Forget about him, it’s over, we won, did you see the look on his face?” You nudged his side. Kirishima groaned and pulled you into him, slamming his lips on yours.
Your eyes widened as he kissed you, but you didn’t fight it. You closed your eyes and melted into the kiss, eventually drawing your arms up over his shoulders, deepening the kiss as he leaned into you more.
Kirishima pulled away and quickly glanced to Kaminari and Sero who’s mouths were formed into small ‘o’s quickly looking away as Kirishima chuckled.
“Woah.” You breathed, smiling as you stared at Kirishima.
“Sorry I have been wanting to do that for a long time.” Kirishima apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. You couldn’t help but laugh.
You leaned up and kissed him again, smiling as he kissed back, your lips moving rhythmically against one another.
Shortly after, Kirishima made sure you were ready for a relationship before asking. Recovery from your previous relationship had gone well, and once you were ready, Kirishima didn’t hesitate to ask. He would’ve waited a lifetime for you.
And Kirishima showed you love, real love. He cherished you, brought you up when you were low, and allowed you to shine, just as you did for him. Supporting him through his highs and his lows, helping him when he needed, and loving him for who he was.
You felt whole, truly happy. The kind of happy you hadn’t felt for a while. And you didn’t think about Bakugou once during it. If you interacted, you were curt, and always handled the situations quickly. You didn’t need to focus on him.
And when you beat him during a test, it only proved you had grown stronger.
Bakugou had lost this battle. 
And you were winning by a long shot, with a happy, healthy, relationship with someone who loved you, someone who truly loved you.
And that flame inside you, burning for Kirishima, only grew.
»»————- ★ ————-««
masterlist
232 notes · View notes
degenrcy · 4 years ago
Text
traitor (chapter 2)
tenko, what a nice name. did you like the pictures i sent?
warnings: same tags as last time! sending nudes, (bad) dirty talk, gaslighting, unhealthy/toxic relationships, mentions of stalking, it starts getting dark here, (plz lmk if anything needs to be added in either tags!)
words: 1.5k
“are you sure tenko?”
“yes i’m sure. come on, don’t leave me like this.”
your face burned at what tenko was talking about. you had been on the phone for a few hours, and he had... gotten excited. you stared at the attachment in your messages, tenko sitting in his chair, pants pulled down to mid-thigh. you've never seen it in real life, a guy's boner tenting his boxers. he was hard because of you, and you were solely responsible for satisfying him.
it was another foreign feeling weighing in your stomach- but it must be a good one. he made you feel good all the time, complimenting the pictures you took in the school bathroom, telling only you his name, defending you when the other server members would start teasing you. 
"w-what do you want me to say?" but you had never done something like this.
"you don't have to say anything," tenko was breathing heavily, blowing against the mic occasionally. the faint slicking noise made you nervous, even though you usually feel so safe and relaxed around him. "i really want to be to touch you, i wanna feel your t-tits through your little school shirt, lift up your skirt and... fuck, what do you have on?"
"ah," you pulled up the waistband of your sweatpants, you knew what he meant by that. "blue, y-your favorite color, right? they're soft and-"
"i want to pound your tight little pussy so fucking hard."
your lips pressed into a thin line, heart catching in your throat and voice falling silent, only the male's heavy breathing and fast fapping noises being heard. every swallow of spit to try and moisten your dry mouth made you think of kissing tenko, made you think how his friends make fun of him for being inexperienced and how they said that you would 'help out' with that problem that one time as a 'joke'. you didn't like being the butt of the joke, and this wasn't a good feeling anymore. it made you feel dirty, like tenko was trying to use you for one thing only.
y/n: tenko sometimes i feel like u just want something out of me... ten: what?? wtf are u talking about : dont get mad please. its just when u talk to me like that at night time it makes me feel like u want something from me like to do stuff to me idk im just being stupid and anxious about this whole thing if its a thing we have... tenko? im sorry i didnt mean to make you mad or anything ten: its fine im not mad if my girl doesnt want to do something i wont do it
you and tenko talked for every possible waking hour you could, from when you wake up to when your eyes finally shut and 3 am to open back up bright and early at 7 am. 4 hours of sleep isn't bad, you still manage to wake up for school, your friends don't need to be so worried all the time. mina was starting to piss you off, tracking how long you spend on your computer, saying that even if you turn your activity off she can always tell. iida constantly was telling you to be weary of people online, his speeches straight out of a cliche school assembly to scare you about the internet and 50 year old predators. tenko wasn't a fucking predator, he's your boyfriend!
nearby classmates turned their heads to slowly look at you, judging eyes beating you down worse than any punch or kick to your body. bakugo eyed you wildly, lip curling up his face until his gums showed.
"are you some kinda fuckin' idiot or something? do you know what this dude looks like, met him? i hope to god you didn't meet up with him-"
"what the fuck is it to you, bakugo?" the words were spilling out quicker than you intended, saying hurtful things you didn't really mean. the girls looked at each other- at you- worriedly. aizawa told you to leave class, not that you wanted to sit and be interrogated by a class of people who thought they knew everything about you. they were so worried about their own ideals, they didn't know how the real world worked, and the reality of the situation was that just because you met tenko online didn't make the feelings you shared any less real!
if he wanted to do something bad to you, he surely would've done it already.
if tenko wanted the relationship to be private because he 'didn't want the others making stupid jokes and not taking us seriously', you'd comply. if tenko wanted you to send cute pictures- which were always followed with a 'how about a picture of what's underneath?'- you'd comply, giggling cutely at his misspellings in his rushed compliments. he’d go silent for a few minutes, followed with a gross picture of what was under his pants. if tenko claimed to see you at your favorite fast food place-
"i never told you my favorite fast food place." your fingers stopped moving against the keyboard, anxiously running your nail against the grooves of the wheel of the mouse. it was the same model tenko had, but pink. he bought it for you, of course you would use it.
"what? yes you did, how else would i have known where it is?" tenko laughed, very awkwardly. he didn't laugh much, and definitely not like that. 
"but i seriously don't remember telling you-"
"yes you fucking did. what are you trying to say?" he snapped at you, speaking through his teeth all through voice chat, all in front of the others. 
"she's trying to say you're a fuckin' stalker." roki- who wanted you to call him nii-chan all the time for some reason- spoke through chews of whatever he was eating. there were other people playing with you, and tenko just embarrassed you in front of them. who were you to hold your tongue after being yelled at by some dude, boyfriend or not? it was time to give tenko a piece of your mind, you were frankly tired of him acting so childish all the time.
y/n: can you please stop being so mean to me all the time :( ten: idk u accused me of something really fucked up earlier. im trying to be cool around everyone else, but u keep making it obvious 
you blinked a few times to make sure you were truly seeing what you were seeing. you didn't even accuse him of anything, it was his stupid fucking friend. but if you went and called roki nii-chan in front of him, it would be wrong, right? maybe that's exactly what you'd start doing, just to piss him off a little and give him a taste of his own medicine.
ten: stop fucking calling roki nii chan ur playing right into his game : guess u saying ur uncomfortable around him was a lie, u probably like him too lol : when ur done acting like a bitch u can talk to me
you shut off your phone for the night. the only night you finally had a chance to get some real sleep, yet you still were up late. you knew tenko was still up too, he always was. the incriminating 'playing Leage of Legends for 6 hours' tab on his profile mocked you. maybe if you just apologized, calmed him down, everything would go back to normal. 
this time, roki said he saw you outside somewhere. before you could even try to pester him with questions if he was sure, he listed off the things you were wearing, how your hair was up, how you looked so different in civilian clothes, you were cuter in person.
you asked if tenko was with him.
he told you to call him brother again, maybe then he would tell you if tenko was with him.
he wasn't.
you didn't know what to think anymore. maybe your friends were right all along, maybe your relationship wasn't real. or maybe they were just stuck-up wannabe heroes with a savior complex. if they really cared, if they really gave a fuck, they would help right? tenko was always full of advice and intelligent takes on things, he sent you articles from unofficial websites along with obscure youtube videos with 42 views that were always criticizing hero society, calling out the faults of the top heroes or the discrimination against people with mutated and dangerous quirks or who look 'non-human'. it was enlightening, it was more than you would ever possibly learn at school.
he was better than everyone else, your heart hurt when you weren’t with him, you wanted to be able to talk to him again. a few paragraphs apologizing for how you behaved, how you missed him, followed with a ‘please talk to me again. i don’t know what i’d do without you, i have no one else.’ you waited nearly a day for a response, pillow sheets damp and a seemingly permanent dip in your bed from how long you laid in it that day.
when he finally read it, he called you, only saying one thing. 
"do you want to come see me?"
"of course, tenko."
141 notes · View notes
heyitsyn · 4 years ago
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Manager!Seijoh Part 2
a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)
also warning! angst!
anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!
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the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS
soooooo
this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance
anyways
i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you
so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it
so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked
the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened
he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 
but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up
so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that
they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment
you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you
a first year girl theyve just met
it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess
then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it
‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’
after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 
you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that
during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face
‘y/n, what happened!’
‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’
your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie
‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’
‘haha’
you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around
‘y/n? is the food not good?’
your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile
‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’
you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded
the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be
as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body
you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?
the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade
so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold
kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face
‘y/n! what-!’
he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down
‘what happened to you?!’
he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile
‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’
kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant
and he noticed the way you said that sentence
it was like a robot
like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script
but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen
the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid
kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing
‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’
you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento
‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’
okay what
they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone
this had to be the longest school day of your life
the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds
finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly
‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 
you cringed but nodded
‘im okay, oikawa-san’
‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’
‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’
*cue everyone busting a lung*
‘y/n, what’s the-’
‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’
eventually, everything was fine
you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease
but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks
he was silent, just staring at them
ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily
oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them
‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’
‘y/n’
his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces
‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’
his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone
you shivered and sighed
‘senpai, please dont-’
‘who is it?’
the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice
‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’
‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’
the gym turned silent
you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows
‘hickey? what-’
‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’
lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes
‘i-i,,,,’
you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity
you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 
its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other
so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face
‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’
HELLO WHAT
the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE
how dare someone take their manager!
she was theirs!
and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you
is this really turning into a harem
oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted
every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve
they just cant see their baby manager like that
you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them
‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’
they flinched and saluted at you
lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her
but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it
this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay
however,,,
several days later,,,
this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst
you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back
it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you
it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her
then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office
if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs
great
you were stuck
you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest
‘what is it you want from me, again?’
she smirked
‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’
is she serious?
this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl
you gave her an incredulous look and frowned
‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’
but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall
but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty
surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance
‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’
miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her
then she remembered what you told her
‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’
she was right
even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong
you were stumped
you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition
your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record
but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade
‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’
you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back
lmao flashbacks to the other part
she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground
oh no you were done w this
you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground
some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles
but they were really testing you
the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt
hit her right between her legs
you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you
‘oh my god leave me alone!’
you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 
obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can
‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’
miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob
sorry rebecca
however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position
gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight
they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her
ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her
but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick
great, another bathroom scene
your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks
you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would
this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for
‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’
your scream echoed throughout the entire are
possibly could be heard in new york
and your voice became hoarse
ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing
‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’
‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’
I GOT CHILLS
the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground
miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy
kyotani kentarou
‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’
he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow
‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’
ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!
you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention
again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals
you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this
‘oi, y-you okay?’
you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying
his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up
normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him
he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office
he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends
you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away
‘n-no, don’t leave-’
but he grunted softly before holding your wrist
‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’
lowkey getting bakugou vibes
you nodded and went to close your eyes again
kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 
babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes
and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms
it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds
but he let his curiosity take over him
‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’
he grunted and you scoffed with a smile
‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’
‘cant you fight them back?’
you glared at him
‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’
he sighed
‘maybe you just werent strong enough’
okay listen here you lil shit
you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes
but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions
‘the first time we met. was it her too?’
you flinched in surprise
‘you remembered that?’
‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’
‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’
‘kyotani,,, kentarou’
you smiled
‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’
‘i know’
he mumbled but you didnt catch it
‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’
he hummed
he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you
kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-
once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered
he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down
‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’
you paused then sighed
‘i dont know. ill figure something out’
but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on
after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’
‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’
you just stared at this guy
‘how-’
‘just a guess’
he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension
and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist
‘so what do i do, then?’
‘tell them-’
‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’
‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’
the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash
‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’
kyo was disgusted
all this for that stupid idiot captain?
‘youre dumber than i thought’
you weakly hit him at the arm
‘so mean, kyo-san’
‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’
you glared and linked your fingers together
‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’
‘just tell them, kid. less problems’
then he stood up to leave
‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’
but you were panicking
someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team
and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player
you were so surprised that you stopped breathing
‘kyo-san,,,’ 
you muttered and he glared at you
well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly
‘yo’
oikawa was surprised at this interaction
‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’
you nodded, still looking at the blonde
‘i-uh’
‘its none of your business’
kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief
maybe your secret would be safe
you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut
your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape
ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem
but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him
you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you
this created a soft of protectiveness around you
sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you
and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off
aww hes so cute
ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 
until that one day
it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it
iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise
‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’
oikawa? late?
that was unheard of
you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm
miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair
you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively
‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’
oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl
‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’
at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name
you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him
‘don’t, kyo-san’
‘the bitch-’
‘i know. but please, dont’
you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder
aggressively cares for you
‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’
‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’
oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him
you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked
‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’
the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension
kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes
‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’
tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl
‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’
you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it
‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’
but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince
oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl
‘oi! kyotani!’
he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating
iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa
‘kyo-san, calm-’
‘you! be quiet’
he shouted, finger pointing at you
‘and you!’
before pointing to oikawa
‘you are a shitty captain’
‘kyotani!’
iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now
mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED
oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked
‘we’ll talk about this later’
‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’
iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door
she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani
‘kyotani, what the hell was that’
oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle
then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes
‘either you tell him or i will’
can we just talk about how protective kyo is?
you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest
‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’
‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’
‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’
oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up
‘y/n-chan, what is going on’
‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’
coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look
to say the least, miyo was pissed
and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does
she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you
girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!
and thats exactly what she did
only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes
‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’
the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you
they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released
as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side
‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’
you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare
‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’
‘i said-’
but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you
her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip
‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’
‘SHUT UP!’
kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you
his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight
‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’
the boy shrugged from the side 
‘i dont know. shes late though’
oh god
‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’
kunimi paused to remember before answering
‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’
that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere
‘SHIT!’
he shouted before bolting out the door
ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him
‘kyotani!’
‘kyoken-chan?!’
they followed him, who was running as fast as he can
the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building
it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him
‘YOU-!’
he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you
blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form
‘kyo-!’
‘kyotani!’
your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry
the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught
kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you
oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words
all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry
now multiply that by the entire team
‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’
mattsun seethed
‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’
the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist
‘how long’
miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist
‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’
iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last
‘s-s-since l-last month’
you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt
‘please dont’
‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’
oikawa coldly reprimanded
‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’
‘got it, boss’
if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you
your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office
rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls
the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises
‘i told you so’
he mumbled and you scoffed
‘howd you find me anyways?’
‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’
he answered
no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word
eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years
‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’
oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed
you looked down and fiddled with your fingers
‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’
iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath
‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’
you nodded but your tears fell
‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’
‘stop apologizing, y/n’
‘sorry’
‘y/n!’
you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt
‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’
‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’
watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug
‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’
oikawa babie you are so mature like what-
what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own
‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’
‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’
‘iwa-san?’
‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’
silence
‘WHAT?!’
‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’
‘WHAT?!’
‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’
‘WHAT?!’
a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general
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2dmenenthusiast · 4 years ago
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Request: [@wnderwater ] Oh it’s a shame I was your first request I love your aizawa stuff but may I have hcs (or scenario if you feel like it) for aizawa with an s/o that has a habit of making sure everythig is clean & tidy because messy cramped places make her anxious bc as a kid she hated how her neglectful parents let their home become messy and she became claustrophobic and one day the guys only find out that she’s so badly affected by tight spaces when they get stuck in an elevator or closet and she starts to panic
Omg literally I am so sorry this took forever to get to I’ve just been hella stressed and busy and ugh. But things have calmed down now since Christmas is over (until new years) so please don’t let this deter you all from requesting lmao. Anyway, thank you bubs for requesting again and thank you for liking my Aizawa fics. I honestly love writing for that grump lol. (also sorry I couldnt make this a whole scenrio I wanted to get this out for you and im literally exhausted) Anyway let’s get on with it.
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first thing first, I’m not claustrophobic so I hope I write this well lol
but for you lovelies that might relate-
you didn’t tell Aizawa about your phobia for cramped spaces when you first started going out
you didn’t tell him at all actually
he found out for himself {the observant bastard)
he didn’t find out right away though.
He would notice times where you’d both be in the elevator at the school, and you would kinda shift and just look really uncomfortable
He always asked if you were okay, and you’d tell him you were fine (but in reality you were praying the ride up and down the floors would just end already as you fidgeted with your hands to try nd distract yourself)
You never mentioned your past to him either
sure he’d caught bits and pieces whenever you accidently let something slip or had a bit too much to drink, or during the rare occasions where you actually opened up about certain things you liked to keep to yourself.
But he only knew a few things for sure
1. your parents weren’t the greatest
2. you couldn’t stand clutter
the second one he didn’t have to pry out of you to know, he saw it with his own eyes everytime you came over and would try to discretely tidy up his place
now, aizawa was a relatively clean guy
sure he napped in a sleeping bag and looked homeless most of the time, but he kept his house clean and showered regularly, so whenever you came over and immediately started picking up his discarded things, he honestly felt kinda bad
Was he too messy? Did he digust you?
Oh god please reassure this baby
If he confronts you about it, you do let him know why you constantly tidy up
and hey dont worry, he’ll try to understand. He’s just glad it doesnt really have anything to do with him.
from then on, he’ll make sure to pick up a bit whenever he knows you’re coming over so he’s not unintentionally kinda stressing you out.
this grumpy man cares about you and will do whatever to make you feel comfortable
when you come over one day and the place is all nice and neat, he’s just kinda standing there looking at you while you look around like
“Did I do okay? Are you comfortable?”
and you just give him a big ol’ smooch. like yes baby, thank you
still he doesn’t really know you’re claustrophobic until you both are in the elevator at the school one day
of course, it’s already uncomfortble as it is
but then the lights flicker, and the elevator jostles before suddenly stopping and- oh no
you’re trapped. You’re stuck in this metal death box and you’re never getting out
so you’re like, internally freaking out, right?
and aizawa just sighs, pressing the emergency button a few times as he just stands there like this is just a daily occurrence
but this isn’t a minor inconvenience for you. Sure, you’ll look back on this later and think “Oh god, I was so ridiculous then.”
but right now?
Yeah, you feel like the metal walls are about to cave in and fucking crush you
you place a hand on the wall and feel the cool surface against your skin, trying to feel something to ground you in the reality that everything will be fine. someone will come and get you and you’ll go on with your day
but your mind is just like “Nope, sorry.”
Now aizawa’s looking at you, and you know you’re starting to show signs of how anxious you feel
you’re breathing heavy, and you duck your head down to try and calm down but nothing is working
and of course aizawa can just immediately pick up on what’s wrong because he’s attentive and perfect and oh god pls marry me sir
Ahem anyway
Mans is immediately by your side, asking you what’s wrong and what he can do to make your feel better
and he’s pissed at this point because why the fuck isn’t anyone getting you both out of here
can’t they understand that his partner is in distress?!
so he just
gently takes your face in his hands and makes you look at him like-
“Hey, I’m right here, y/n. Just focus on me, okay? just listen to my voice.”
and it’s honestly working? He’s a perfect distraction from the thoughts going wild in your head and wow have his eyes always been this beautiful?
By the time someone finally rescues the both of you, you’ve calmed down a bit now, but aizawa still rushes you out of the elevator and takes you to the teachers lounge so that you can rest and have some water
he then insists that you go home
and you’re just like “uhh I’m fine? Seriously I’ll be okay.”
but he insists of course. it’s not that he doesn’t think you can do your job, he’s just worried
after a bit of convincing, he finally relents
From then on whenever you take the elevator, he makes sure he’s with you in case something happens again, even though Nezu has assured him the issue has been fixed
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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago
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The world keeps spinning (it really shouldn't)
Vance did it. He defeated Josephine, saved his grandpa and Elliot, and saved the town. Everything's fixed.
No. Everything is awful. He failed, and now his friend- now Tom is gone.
And he'd rather fight Josephine all over again, because it'd be easier than what he has to do now- tell Andy about it.
Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)
Relationships: Andy Kang/Tom Sato, Danni Asturias/Imogen Wescott, (dannimogen is background and very brief but i couldn't resist), Andy Kang & Ava Cunningham & Lucas Thomas & Lily Ortiz
Additional Tags: tom dies and everything is awful, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Friendship, for basic context im going with the version of ILITW that i got, which is that everyone survived and noah took jane's place, and then for ILB i did the version where tom dies obviously, (which is not the version i got), (everyone survived), (i feel the need to say this for my own ego), but anyway i was like what if tho. andy would be devastated, and then... this happened?, only difference from canon is that ILITW MC told everyone about noah a lot before, also like. imma be real with yall, im physically uncapable of giving my MCs serious names, so ILB MC was named That Bitch and i didnt want to give him a real name, cuz it felt like betrayal, so im just calling him vance for this one, is it his nickname? is he called vance vance? dont worry about it, Anyway that's it, Pining, you know. before the death part. it's mentioned, also we're ignoring the whole richard tries to murder MC thing, cuz i dont have time for that, so pretend ILB ended on chapter 17, Hopeful Ending, considering the theme i mean
Read it on Ao3
The city of Westchester looks exactly the same, but somehow feels a lot less wholesome, now. Vance walks in it and feels like a corpse among the living, like a ghost screaming to everyone that something's wrong. And being ignored.
It shouldn't look the same, without Tom.
But no one knows, yet.
He swallows, running a hand behind the nape of his neck. That's why he's here, anyway - they should know, they deserve to know, and he doesn't want to have the funeral without Tom's friends there.
Which is why he's going to tell Andy. Himself, in person. Because he might not know him very well, but he wants to do the right thing, and that's the least Andy deserves. He knows there's no one Tom loved like he did Andy, and from what he's seen of them together, the feeling was mutual.
He has to do this. But he feels sick, just thinking about that bond, and how it was ruined.
How could he let this happen to them?
He was so cocky, so stupid, so reckless... He thought everything would turn out okay. Assumed it would, even, because it kept getting him through it, to think that everything would turn out fine.
God. What a joke.
He walks into the little diner Andy had recommended. I'm sure you've heard of that place, Tom loves it, he had texted. We always went there to celebrate our wins back in high school. His stomach had churned, but he didn't say anything, because he wasn't going to tell Andy via text. He has to do this right. It's the least he owes him.
So he pretended that everything was fine, and agreed to meet him there. Woke up, and dragged himself to the place, trying to muster up the courage to face the world that seemed to not even care about his mistakes.
When he gets to the diner's door, he takes a deep breath, trying to ground himself for what he's about to do. Face his own mistakes. Face the pain he caused when he failed them both.
He walks in, and to his relief, and despair, Andy is already there. He smiles brightly when he sees Vance, and Vance wants to disappear.
"Vance! Nice to see you, dude. I heard about what went down in Pine Springs, glad you're okay," he says, not giving time for Vance to answer before continuing, this weird sense of calm and sympathy about him. "So, I assume you still need help with that ghost? From what I've seen in the news, it seemed like you handled it pretty well, but it's not like they are giving us supernatural updates or anything, so I figured there were still some loose ends to tie. Are the other guys coming? Where's Tom?" he looks over behind Vance, and Vance wants to die at the question. God, how is he going to tell him? He didn't really think about that, beyond the part where he has to. "I kind of thought you'd come together again. Bad move to come separated, Tom is always late to everything, I swear if it weren't for me he'd have been kicked out of the team for missing practice too many times. And I'm not the most punctual guy in the world, mind you, but I still had to drag his ass there so he'd be on time- is everything okay?"
Vance is a little shocked by the question. It's not, but what is he supposed to answer? "Andy," he says, a little careful, "things… went a little wrong, back there."
"Oh, shoot," he says, "I'm sorry, man, I kinda assumed, when I heard about how the flooding and the animal attacks were in full swing and then just stopped suddenly, that that was when you got rid of the ghost, you know? And seeing you all in one piece… I thought it was over already. Do you need help? I can round up the guys, and we can go-"
"No, Andy," Vance says, "the ghost is gone."
Andy looks at him, confused. "Then what's the problem?"
"Tom," he says, then winces when he sees all the color drain from Andy's face.
Andy waits for barely a second, then breaks into anxious questioning. "Tom? Why? What do you mean? Is he hurt? How bad is it? Did he have to go to the hospital? Where is he?"
Vance wants to cry. God. God. He can't do this. "Andy..."
Andy just looks at him, eyes wild, terrified, and it hasn't even hit him yet. "Vance. Vance. Please. What happened? Does Tom need me? Because if so, we need to go-"
"Tom's gone," he says, and it leaves him in a rush, a whisper, taking with it the last of his energy. He's empty, and somehow, it's still awful. "He's… he's dead, Andy."
Andy looks at him, eyes wide, unfocused, lost. "This isn't funny," he says. "If Tom put you up to this, knock it off right now. Tell him not to ever joke about-"
"Andy," Vance says, then swallows. "Tom wouldn't joke about that. You know that."
"No, he wouldn't, but..." His eyes begin to water, panic settling in, gaze darting across the room as if searching for him, "But… No. No. No, knock it off."
Vance starts crying before Andy does. "I'm sorry, Andy."
--------
Andy is in shock. He freezes in place, mouth hanging open, everything about him completely still except for his eyes, still so damn wide, still searching the place, searching Vance, begging for something, anything. Vance sits him back down on the table, gently, and Andy lets himself be handled back, eyes still not settling on him.
"I'm sorry," Vance says. "I… I promised you that I would take care of him. I tried, but… I'm so sorry."
"How?" he asks, "how could this happen? This isn't… After Redfield, when everyone survived, I just… I didn't think any of us could lose to another monster, I..." He shakes his head, vigorously, desperately. "This was supposed to be over. We were done, we were free, it was supposed to be over, we were all supposed to be safe, it shouldn't..."
"I'm sorry. It all happened so fast, I… If I had been faster, maybe..."
"Well, it's a bit late for that now," Andy snaps, and Vance bites his lip, not recoiling, because he deserves it. Then Andy stops, as if realizing what he had said, and for a second, his eyes seem clear again. He shakes his head. "No. I'm sorry. I… If there's anything I've learnt from everything that happened, it's that we can't point fingers when things get hard." He finally looks up at Vance, shaking, eerily still, nothing like the guy he was just seconds ago. He's wrecked, Vance thinks, and he wants to tear at himself in guilt. "What happened? Did he- did he drown, or… Did the ghost..."
"We were fighting monsters," Vance explains. "There were just… So many of them, and it all happened so fast, I..." he looks away, not daring to look back at the memory, not daring to remember the awful scene. As if he has to. Everytime he closes his eyes, it's back, punishing him. "We got his body," he explains. "Pine Springs is taking the victims to mass graves, but we wanted to give him a proper burial. I thought… You'd want to come."
Andy seems surprised, like that hadn't crossed his mind. "You haven't buried him yet?"
Vance bites his lip. "No. We're doing it tonight. We didn't have the time before, and… Well, I thought you'd want to be there. And I think he'd have wanted his body to be in Westchester, so..." He trails off.
Andy looks at him, hesitant. He bites his lip, looks away, then back at him. "Can I see the body?"
Vance does recoil, this time. He wasn't expecting this question. "I… You won't want to."
"What do you mean, I won't want to? I need to say goodbye to him, I-"
"Andy," he says, as gently as possible, because he deserves Andy's anger, all of it, but he won't let him do that to himself. "You won't want to remember him like that. His body…" He looks at Andy's eyes. He's still furious, livid, shaking, and he's lost, and Vance realizes that he doesn't get it, doesn't understand what Vance is saying, and this might be even worse than having to tell him Tom is dead. "It's torn to pieces, Andy. There's not much for you to see."
Andy freezes, for the second time that day. "Was he- oh, god," he looks at his own shaky hands, somehow even more in shock than before. "Was it… At least, was it quick?"
Vance starts crying again. He opens his mouth to answer. He can't. He chokes on the words, on his guilt, on his uselessness. "I'm so sorry, Andy."
------
Andy throws up. Once, twice. He doesn't insist on looking at the body. Obviously, he can't. Just imagining it- it's too much.
He tries to comfort Vance, because he- he's trying to do better, with his anger, with his impulsiveness, but all he can think about is how much he wants to destroy something, and honestly, the whole conversation is a blur. He punches the wall instead, once he gets home. And throws up. Again and again. Sends his friends a message, letting them know about the funeral. Cries. Punches the wall again. And again, and again, hoping that his hands will start to bleed, that he'll tear himself apart. His mom asks what's got him so angry, and he yells, "Tom is dead!". Her face twists in shock, and he can't look at it. He runs away.
Being back outside is almost worse. Everything- it should be in shambles. The whole town, the whole world should be on fire, fizzling, filled with screams and despair, like Andy is. He's never lived in a world without Tom before, never been away from him his whole life, and it shouldn't look like it's just the same. Everything should be gone, destroyed. And it is, but it doesn't look that way, and Andy wants to tear it all apart until it makes sense, at least.
He hates Westchester now. He hates it. God damn the stupid woods, and the stupid cult, and the fucking Power! God damn Andy for telling Tom about it, for letting him become this sort of- monster hunter, for believing that just because they overcame a ghost once, it would keep happening if they pushed their luck.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
Tom can't be dead. It's impossible.
How can Andy still be standing, if Tom isn't here?
---------
He wanders like that the rest of the day, not noticing the hunger that builds up after going a whole day without eating, not noticing the passersby looking at him worriedly, not noticing the thousands of missed calls from his mom, not noticing anything but this awful despair. He knows the feeling of wanting to claw his chest off intimately well, but it's never been like that before. He wants to carve himself hollow. He wants to scream. He wants to run. And he runs from the all-encompassing nothingness, even though he has nowhere to go.
He goes from angry to empty, and then back to angry, all day long, and the day passes in a blur.
--------
Andy meets up with Vance and two girls from their crew. Their group was pretty small, he realizes. A lot smaller than Andy's was, all those years ago. Three years ago. Forever ago. Another lifetime. Just yesterday.
The cemetery is empty, but there's a grave with a black casket they're standing next to. "I thought all the cemetery crew was helping Pine Springs," he says, like he cares. Honestly, he hadn't thought about the logistics of this at all.
"They are," Vance confirms, serious. "You, uh… You know about Noah, right…?"
Andy nods. "Yeah, we, uh, reintroduced ourselves to him a little after you guys left." It was weird, to say the least. All that anger, all that betrayal, bubbling up again right when they had all started to move on from what had happened, to think that it was over… The urge to scream at him, demand answers… And then seeing all the hurt, and the confusion, and remembering that they had loved Noah, once, most of their lives, and that at the end of the day, the only one who had suffered from his actions was himself.
It wasn't easy to forgive. Not to Andy. Or Stacy. Or Ava. But they had been working on it. Maybe they couldn't forgive, much less forget, but at the same time, they couldn't get rid of that bond, either.
Still… "What does this have to do with… With Tom?" If Noah had anything to do with his death, Andy would kill him all over again. He doesn't care about his freaky powers, he'll die if he has to, but Noah will pay.
"He, uh, helped. Dig the grave and, uh, get a casket. That's how we got everything ready."
Oh. "I… I see," he says. "Is he here?"
"No. I told him you guys were coming, and he said it was better if he left."
"Oh," Andy answers. "I guess that's… Yeah. Still..." he raises his voice a little bit, in the direction of the woods. "Thank you, Noah."
He doesn't see or hear anything, not really, but still, somehow, he can tell that Noah is pleased. He can picture Noah's smile and that fragile little "friendsss..."
He sighs, suddenly exhausted.
Vance seems to notice, god bless his soul. "Are the others coming?", he asks, gently.
"Lily, Lucas, and Ava are," Andy replies. "The rest were out of town, and they… They won't make it."
"I'm sorry."
Andy kicks a pebble. "It's fine," he says. It's the kind of lie that's so absurd that it becomes true. Nothing is fine. It'll never be fine. So it doesn't matter at all, and it ends up being fine.
Vance seems to realize what's going through his head, somehow, because he looks unsure of what to say. Finally, he settles on, "uh, Andy. These are Danni, and Imogen," he says, gesturing to each of them, and Andy musters up enough energy to look at their faces while he does that, at least. Then, his eyes widen for a second, finally taking in what they look like.
"Wait, you're Imogen Wescott?" he says, a little dumbfounded. "When I heard that name, I kinda expected you to be, you know..."
"White and insufferable?" Imogen asks, a little smile directed at him, so gentle he can barely handle it. "Yeah. That's why I'd rather go by Genny, usually."
Danni frowns at her, slightly troubled. "You never told me that."
Imogen's smile turns a little brighter. "Oh, no, not for you, Danni. For you, I'd rather go by 'babe'".
Danni also smiles at her, and they squeeze each other's hands, and the edges of grief seem to turn just a little softer for them both. Andy can tell that things get just a little easier for them, just a little less grim, because they have each other. And he needs to look away, wants to run, because he and Tom… They could've… In a way, they were...
He feels like he's ready to run again. God, he fucked up so bad. What was he supposed to do now, how could he get better when the one thing in the world that always made him feel better was Tom? He lost him, he's gone, it's over, and somehow it hadn't hit quite the way it did at that moment, looking at that connection, that love that showed through grief. He averts his eyes, feeling wild and cornered, and turns back right in time to almost run into Lily - who looks devastated, and reaches out to touch his arm. Which feels crazy, because Andy is raw, and his whole body is bleeding, and rotting away, and who would touch him-
"I'm so sorry, Andy." She says, and Andy finds himself hugging her tight, and he feels like she should wither, die at his touch, suffocate, but she just hugs him back and pats him and Andy cries on her shoulder, and he's never cried in front of her before, much less like this. But he can't stop, he can't do anything, he's so heavy and dizzy and lost-
And Lily is stronger than they give her credit for, because she holds him, this endless weight that is him, even when he shakes and stains her sweater with tears, like it's nothing. She feels so solid, right then, the only solid thing in the world. She's got him, Andy knows, and it's like finally he ran into something he can take shelter in. He takes a deep breath, then another, and holds on for dear life.
"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says, maybe the only thing he knows how to say right now. Maybe this is how Jane felt, in the end - this endless spectre of regret, bigger than everything, than everyone, encompassing her and drowning her until it ate her whole and left her empty, with only the Power and its evil inside her.
He's so tired, but he's not empty, not yet.
He almost wants to be.
"Don't apologize," Lily says, so sad and sympathetic, and it takes Andy a moment to realize what she's even talking about. "I'm really sorry, I..."
It's only then that Andy's eyes focus enough to see Ava and Lucas standing a little after her, their faces twisted with sadness and bodies frozen in place. At times like this, it really is obvious that Lily is the bravest out of all of them, by far. Andy doesn't think he's ever cried in front of any of them, and Lucas and Ava look- completely lost.
Lucas is the first to talk, out of them both. His voice is very soft. "Andy, if there's anything you need..."
Ava interrupts, words leaving her way too fast. "We'll be staying with you tonight." She blinks for a second, frowning at Lucas. "Sorry, I, uh, hadn't realized you were talking." She looks like she just came out of a daze. She probably had been running that in her head for a while. Lucas puts his hand on her shoulder, and Ava runs a head on her neck, embarrassed.
"It's okay," Andy answers, even though her apology wasn't directed at him. "You don't have to, you know, watch over me or..." He trails off.
"We're not leaving you alone," Ava says, resolute. "You know the others couldn't come, but we all agreed that we should be… You know..."
Andy chokes on something he can't quite feel. He looks down at his feet, and he hasn't felt this small in years. "I… Okay."
Ava reaches out to him, hesitant, and gives him a little pat on the shoulder. Lucas starts rubbing his back soothingly, and, very awkwardly, they gravitate into a group hug. Andy can see the nervousness in Ava's eyes, the worry that she's doing this wrong somehow, like a hug is the most complex thing in the world, and he tries to muster up a little smile of encouragement to her, but he's forgotten how to do that. He doesn't know how to do anything, anymore.
Slowly, they separate, and all three of them still keep some sort of touch with Andy - even Ava, with her hand close to his shoulder - like they're trying to anchor him, but he drifts away anyway, lost in whatever it is that's left of himself.
Vance looks down at him for a moment, as if waiting for a signal, but Andy doesn't know for what, so he waits for Vance to figure it out. Finally, he says, "should we start?"
Andy frowns. "Wasn't there some other guy with you? Pork something?"
Vance, Imogen, and Danni all look at each other, uncertain, surprised, for a moment. It's Imogen who speaks up. "He… He left us."
Ava swallows. "Did he also..."
"No," she says, shaking her head, sadly. "He, uh, deserted the group."
"He what?" Someone asks, shocked, almost outraged, and when Andy sees the looks in everyone's faces, he realizes that it was him.
"He couldn't take it," Vance says, face twisted with sadness. "All the fighting, the monsters… He left."
Andy is shaking. Falling apart. About to explode. "When?"
Vance doesn't look at him. "Right before the final battle."
"He abandoned you when you were going up against the evil ghost?"
"He..." Vance begins, then finds that he has nothing else to say. "Yeah."
"How…" Andy begins, lost for words, and then it happens. He explodes. "How dare he!" He screams. "Tom was counting on him, he trusted him, he needed him, and he just left? He should have been there! He should have been there, he should," Andy looks at his own hands, in shock, watching them tremble and go out of focus, like there are tears blocking his vision, and he feels sick, on the verge of death, and he realizes that he's not talking about that guy at all. "He should have been there!" He slips from his own control, falling to his knees, covering his face, feeling shame, shame, shame, hatred, disgust. "He should… I should… Oh God, I just let him go alone..."
"Andy..." Someone says. Maybe Lucas. Maybe Lily. Maybe the Imogen girl. It sounds so sympathetic. He wants to claw at his own skin and hide.
"I should have been there, I shouldn't… I had experience, what was I thinking..."
"Tom didn't want you to go," someone else says, gently. "I was there when you talked, remember? You didn't abandon him. You said you were going to come, and he told you not to."
"Tom.. Tom is not my damn boss," Andy answers, still covering his face, feeling the tears stop spilling and start to drown him from the inside, and god damn T, the least Tom deserves is for him to be able to cry properly- "I-I should have… gone," he chokes, shaking.
The next one who speaks is Ava. "He wouldn't have wanted you to be at risk, Andy."
"I don't care. I don't care. I'm selfish like that, I'd rather it was me. I could have helped him, I could have saved him, even if I had to- to take his place..."
"Andy..." is all Ava says, sounding shaken, devastated.
"Fuck!" He screams, punching the ground beneath him as if trying to punish the earth for taking Tom. "He would have never left me like that, I could always count on Tom, I could always..." he feels his chest constrict, or maybe burst, with all the tears and horror inside of him, like he's cracking from the inside. "Always..." he can't form the words, can't find the air, and he falls in on himself, more, more, more, closing in, suffocating, "always..." he can't breathe. He can't breathe. He tries to draw it in, to keep himself steady, but every time he tries to bring it in, the air escapes from him again, further, abandoning him, and he wheezes, again, again, closing in further, suffocating, oh God, he's going to die…
"It's a panic attack!" Someone screams, then kneels beside him, putting their hands on his shoulders. "Andy. Andy. Focus on me. You need to breathe. Deep lungfuls. Come on. I'll count to four. Keep breathing in. 1… 2..."
"Can't," he wheezes. It's too strong, like there's something… Something constricting his chest, inside and outside, and then he realizes… "Binder." He sits down straighter, no longer closing in on himself, and that awful vulnerability gets even worse, but it's easier to breathe. He follows the person's counts… 1, 2, 3, 4… Then up to five, then to six, then to seven, then eight… Until finally he doesn't need help, and he opens his eyes and contemplates the absolute mess that he is, and Imogen's kind, relieved face just inches from him.
"Good, Andy, you did well… I have these sometimes, too, I know how scary they are, you were so brave..." Imogen keeps on saying, painfully understanding, and he nods, a bit exhausted to explain. He didn't take his binder off all day, didn't remember… And if he wears it for too long, he's more prone to hyperventilating, especially if he's stressed. Tom knew that. Tom would have known what was going on. Tom… Fuck.
"I'm sorry," he says, to everyone, and no one in particular.
"Don't apologize. We're all glad you're okay," Lily says, and he realizes that, somehow, she had also kneeled beside him and brought him into another hug. He hides his face on her shoulder, shaking his head, trying to breathe. Breathing. She pets his head, a little bit, and he can feel some more touch, too - little pats on his shoulder and back, all gentle, not crowding him, like he's some sort of wild animal they're trying to calm down.
God, what a mess.
He holds Lily tighter, wanting to hide from the world. She lets him, because it's the kind of person Lily is. He feels himself drift away, for a while, but Lily's still petting his head and he can't lose himself completely. He shakes his head, wanting to fight it, almost wanting to get away from Lily, but he can't escape the gentleness in her embrace. He still can't cry, but he feels his eyes water and burn anyway, and he shakes his head against Lily's shoulder. He just wants this to be over. Please, he's so exhausted.
His breaths even, despite himself, but Andy keeps shaking, and he keeps shaking his head slightly against Lily. He wants this to end, it has- has to be a nightmare…
"Shh, Andy, don't hold it in, it's okay," Lily says, slowly, sadly, and Andy shakes his head more vigorously. No. He can't be weak right now, it's only going to make it last longer. He needs to end it, can't be done with this until Tom has gotten his goodbyes.
It's the least Andy owes him, now that there's nothing else he can do.
So, he speaks up.
"We should go on," he says, suddenly feeling resolute. It's easier to do this if he has something to focus on. He needs to see this through the end, for Tom. If he thinks only about that...
"Are you sure?" Vance asks, hesitant.
Andy nods, forcing his vision to focus. "He needs to rest."
----------
Everyone's speeches go by in a blur. Vance talks about how good Tom's heart was, how he was willing to drop everything to go help a bunch of strangers, how everyone could always count on him. He cries, and he says he's sorry, and the girls put their arms around him, tell him that he did his best. Imogen brings up how kind he was, and Danni talks about his strength. They really loved him, Andy notices, and feels his heart settle just a little bit. He was loved till the end. Of course he was.
Lucas talks about how supportive Tom was, how he was always uplifting everyone around him and would let Lucas babble on about conservation for hours. Lily brings up how much he believed in her and supported her when she was making her videogames. Ava says that Tom was the only one who ever saw her looking up Westchester's history and cults and just… Sat down with her and helped, understanding that she needed this to feel safe, to feel ready, and sharing that burden of getting ready for a disgrace, just a little bit. Andy never knew that Tom had been joining Ava for research. He could've helped with that, too. He could have done a lot of things, if he had paid more attention.
He's left for last, and a part of him wants to be a coward, to stay silent, but that was never his style.
"When Tom had turned into a zombie," he begins, "Redfi- Jane made him hurt me. And I wasn't worried for myself. I was worried for him. I wanted him back, no matter what it took, no matter what happened to me," he begins, not looking at anyone in particular, because he knows most of them already know this story, but he's not going to- he's not going to deny Tom the chance to know how he felt about him, before he rests. It's the least Andy owes him.
So, he takes a deep breath and goes on, pushing himself into saying something that matters.
"Then our friends showed up, and they said that Tom was still there. That I had to reach out to him. So I tried. I talked to him about our childhood. About how much he had been supporting me… How he was my best friend. He was hesitant, but so… Scared. I didn't know what to do. Tom and I always got each other..." He loses himself a little, shaking his head, purging the thoughts that were keeping him from going on, "And then someone said, 'Andy's hurt. H-he needs help'." He loses focus for a second, and that can't happen. He takes a breath, tries to make himself talk. "And just like that… Tom came back.
"He extended his hand to me, and helped me to my feet, and suddenly there was color in his face again, and for a second he wasn't even confused as to what the hell was going on, he just wanted to make sure I was okay. He came back because I needed him. Because he couldn't bear to hurt me. He was always there for me, and I… I don't think I ever needed him more than right now."
He stops a minute, to look at the faces surrounding him. There's a grief in them that looks almost like… Pity.
And Andy isn't even mad about it. He feels pitiful.
"I'm not the best guy with words," he admits, "so I don't know how to express how much this meant to me, or how much Tom meant to me. No one understood me like him. Tom is… Was… No, is a part of me. Maybe the best part of me, because I loved him more than anything else about myself. I'll miss him for the rest of my life." He looks down at Tom's grave, carved out of anything else to say. "I love you, buddy."
It's not the greatest speech that's ever been given, but it's what he can say, and at least he's done it. He'll be able to do better, later. He'll come back to talk to him again. As many times as he can, for as long as he can. He swears on that.
Andy steps back from the grave, and doesn't look as they slowly fill it, covering the closed casket with dirt. He finally allows himself to let the exhaustion catch up with him, and is overcome by that blissful, blissful emptiness.
---------
He's fully expecting himself to drop asleep as soon as they get to Ava's place. They decided to stay there for the night, because Andy still doesn't want to face his mom, to see that same grief in her, for her to want to talk to him, to tell him that everything would be fine. He can't do that, not today. At least Lucas had enough foresight to warn her of where they are, so she should leave him alone for now. Lucas is very reliable in a crisis, Andy thinks, making a note to himself to thank him properly later.
But he can't sleep. He's too exhausted to even rest. And for some reason, even though he doesn't want to talk, that's exactly what he found himself doing for the past few hours. Vomiting up all sorts of memories and thoughts, ranging from funny moments he had with Tom to all of his regrets, and Andy's always been kind of a stress-talker, but it's never been like this. He feels like he's been skinned alive; there's nothing to hold himself together, to hold anything at all in.
He cries all the tears he didn't think he had left in him anymore, and he curses himself, and the guy who left them in the end, and Noah, and the Power, and the cult, and himself again. He scratches his own skin until Lucas gently takes his hands in his, stopping him from doing more of it. And he talks, through all of that. Talks and talks and talks.
The words make him drift through memories, through states of mind, and he knows he's so damn volatile today, it's like he can't anchor himself to a feeling, but his friends put up with him anyway.
Finally, he starts to settle into this sort of… Slowness, like his mind is clear, or maybe blank, even as he keeps on thinking. And he keeps talking through it, letting all the minor regrets have their turn after he's too damn done to keep dealing with the worst parts.
"I never told him I was in love with him," Andy says, staring at the three empty mattresses in front of him, because it's easier than looking at any of his friends, who are currently sitting right beside him, as he babbles on. "I was going to, you know? After R- Jane. I had almost died, so I figured, you know- yolo, and all that. And then I told myself, 'I'll wait until I'm out of the hospital.' And then I started to think… What if he didn't feel the same way? What if things got weird? What if I end up losing him? And I never told him," he looks at his own feet, "and now I lost him anyway."
They all just look at him. They used up all the "I'm sorry, Andy"s left in them a long time ago, he thinks. There's only so many platitudes you can muster up when you know they're worthless, when you're just repeating yourself.
God bless them for trying, though. They're sticking with him through their own- everyone's inadequacy to deal with what's going on. Andy can't thank them enough for that.
"He knew you loved him," Ava says, serious, and Andy frowns at her, doubtful. "He might not have known you were in love with him, but… He knew how much he meant to you. I'm sure of it."
Andy laughs, humorless, "did you finally get those mind reading powers you wanted?" he says. It falls flat, but they pretend it doesn't, for his sake.
Ava rolls her eyes. "Don't be an ass, Kang," she says. "No. I just… I can tell. Anyone can."
Andy bites his lip, looking away.
She presses on, as gently as she can. "Besides, you also know, don't you? Regardless of anything else… Tom loved you, just as much as you loved him."
"I still love him," Andy says, before he can think about it, and a weird kind of shame creeps up on him - for saying it, for not saying it sooner, for realizing that this… It'll probably never go away, even now that it's completely pointless, that it's just proof of his cowardice.
"That's… Normal," Lily says, fiddling a little with her sweater. "You don't forget someone just like that, just because something happened. I mean, look at me and Britney. It took me years to get over her, and even then, I had to have supernatural forces show me exactly who she was, first."
"She didn't deserve you," Ava says.
"Maybe not. It doesn't matter now," Lily says. "The point is… It's okay to still love him."
Andy hugs his knees. "I don't think anything is okay, right now."
"That's okay, too."
They stay in silence for a moment, and then Lucas speaks up. "I know 'it gets better' stories don't really help at times like these," he says, "so I won't tell you that, but… I know what it's like, to feel like nothing will ever be okay, ever be enough. So… At least you're not alone, in that feeling."
Andy's mouth does something. It's not a smile, but it's what it can do right now. "Yeah. At least it's not like last time," he says. "With Jane. We all fell apart, and… It felt really lonely, even though..." He chokes up. "I had Tom."
Lucas rubs at Andy's shoulder sadly, and Andy shakes his head.
"It's just that he didn't get it, you know? And I couldn't tell him, about what happened," he says, instead of thinking about how much worse this is, no matter how many friends he has by his side right now. "So I… Missed you guys." He finishes, ashamed.
"We get it," Ava says, solemn. "And we're sticking with you, this time around."
"Yeah," Lucas agrees.
"Yeah," Lily adds.
"Okay," Andy answers. "I… Thanks."
They hug him tighter. It's all they have to say.
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justalokifanaccount · 3 years ago
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Episode 6-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)
I’m so nervous and excited. Disclaimer: I have spoiled a few minor things for myself for this episode because I’m a self sabotaging dummy who does this whenever I get anxious about a form of media I am watching.
I’m so friggin nervous ahhhhhhhhh
Please tom Hiddleston, don’t do me dirty
Screw you renslayer
Istg if anyone betrays anyone I’m going to riot
Man I miss Classic!Loki already
Isn’t this the music that played when Steve?
OH MY GOSH IM GOING TO CRY WITH ALL OF THE AUDIO REFERENCES
Lol the peter quill lines are perfect because I legit just watched GotG
Nelson Mandela?
Vision???
Lmao Sylvie saying “open your eyes!” Gave me legend of Zelda breath of the wild flashbacks
My heart is rattling against my rib cage with excitement and anxiety
Spoopy castle
Aha another scene or at least location from the trailers!
Oof they’re both anxious too
Pretty gold veins
You were pruned before he even existed? What? No you weren’t? You were kidnapped but not pruned. You were only just pruned lmao.
If kang isn’t the baddy I’m gonna look like such an idiot
AGHH!
Good God that stopped my heart.
He who remains?
KANG?
I don’t trust you Miss Minutes
Man I wanna kill Thanos
Miss minutes I don’t trust you, TEMPTRESS!
If he could make it work, then why couldn’t he allow the timeline to break free normally then huh?
“We write our own destiny now.” Bite me Miss Minutes
Ren Slayer I hope you get chucked into space
How self aware is miss minutes exactly?
I’m actually surprised that Renslayer doesn’t know who it is
Miss minutes is so creepy what the freak
The music is so damn good
“Are we sure he’s even still alive?” Judging by the opening of the door, I’m assuming that yes.
Uhhh hi?
Is this kang?
Or Ryuk lmao
I’m hoping he’s more serious than this jokey seemingly unserious dude. I need some angst.
Is this Kang?
Cmon
So much for easy to kill I guess
Where’s doctor strange when you need him?
I bet classic!loki could kill him easily…
I miss alligator Loki and kid Loki…
Doctor strange sanctum vibes
Hey heart, can you stop beating in my chest? You’re gonna kill me
HAHAHAHAHA YESSSS MOBIUS
Kill her please. I won’t be sad. Do it.
You’re not sorry. Shut up.
HAHAHAHA YEA BOIIIIIII
Ohio? Oh gosh is this a school?
RENSLAYER???
Hahaha she’s just a principal
HAHAHA BREAK THEIR MINDS
Don’t you dare insult my Loki. Love you Sylvie, but she’s nothing compared to Loki in my mind and never will be.
This music is gonna give me a heart attack
Help
Oh so this has happened before?
Wannabe God…
My BPM has got to be like 100
Paved the road? Soooo are you a Loki or???
Who are you? Please be kang or else I’m gonna friggin have to eat a rock like I promised.
This dude is literally a Fan Fiction writer oml
Sylvie? Please trust Loki. Don’t betray him.
Yea yea Renslayer I know that it’s crazy your whole life is a lie but you’re an idiot.
You’re a variant too you dumb dumb.
Yea you betrayed him. You betrayed the timeline.
Where the hell are you going?
PRUNE HER
DO IT
OH COME ON
PRUNE HER FOR CRIPES SAKE
Ughhhhhhh cmon Mobius…
In search of free will? What? Then WHY NOT TAKE MOBIUS WITH YOU
Dang that was disappointing Mobius got knocked down that easily…
Oh my gosh Tom Hiddleston’s voice is rumbling in my headphones good God
Kang?
Kang?
KANG THE CONQUEROR?
PLEASE
GIVE ME AFFIRMATION
Oof even he has variants
Dude loves Apples more than Ryuk
But he also sat on the chair like L
Is he like a celestial? Related to one?
Hush you wannabe Saint
Alioth?
Okay but HOW did you harness its power. What’s your technology then? You can’t just say that and not explain how.
Is he drunk?
Okay L
He’s like L, Light Yagami, and Ryuk all in one.
Your variants? Then who are you?
GAMBIT LIKE FROM THE X MEN UNIVERSE? I’m kidding… sigh…
Okay mandalorian
My heart is still beating fast why
If I don’t make another appearance again, know I died of a heart attack
Why would he give up control huh?
Is he a Loki?
“I’m older.” Dude you look like you’re 30 tops. What’s your secret? How are you immortal if you’re only man? Or are you not a midgardian?
Both sitting with swords.
Multiversal war heh? DOCTOR STRANGEEEEE THEYRE AT IT AGAIN
He’s kinda calling her out a lil lmao
Both of them
HEART CAN YOU CALM DOWN?? I TOOK MY PILLS! WHY YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A PANIC ATTACK.
Hello? Something happening you didn’t expect?
Threshold?
Of what?
This dude is a good actor. He’s playing the demented, crazed, power man well.
What’s the third option? There can’t only be two.
My heart is friggin dumb. Can you not??? I’m legitimately annoyed by how hard and fast it’s beating.
What’s that in your hand buddy?
Bud?
What, is it an honesty detector or something?
You can really tell this guy is tired of life and everything
Aaaaand they’re fighting
Girls girls, you’re both pretty. Can I go home now?
Oh no…
Sylvie, no, stop it.
SYLVIE!!! Trust Loki!
Cmon there has to be a third option
Sylvie DAMMIT
TRUST HIM
Protagonists fight before the climax cliche *ding!*
GET OUT OF MY HEAD CINEMASINS
Dammit now she knows magic too
HE DOESN’T WANT THE THRONE YOU DUMB DUMB
“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want a throne. I just want… I just want you to be okay.”
OH?
OH?
HELLO?
It’s the onceler fandom all over again
Kiss and betrayal
COME ON MAN
Loki can’t catch a break. He just gets betrayed again and again.
How did she know how to use that.
Oop. Rip.
“See you soon.”
Sylvie, you messed up.
Now what?
Poor doctor strange. Dudes gonna have his hands full lmao.
Tom Hiddleston BETTER be in Dr. Strange Multiverse of Madness
My chest is actually moving from how hard my heart is beating what the heck
Poor Loki
All he knows is pain and hurt. And whenever he thinks he’s getting love, love, like a dagger, hurts him.
CMON TOM DONT MAKE ME CRY WITH YOUR STELLAR ACTING
How is this going to end????
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
Mobius???
WHY DID MOBIUS FORGET HIM
NEW STATUE? IS IT TOO LATE?
WHAT
THATS THE END????
WHAT?
BUT
BUT
BUT
WHAT???
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
HOW
WHY
WHAT THE HELL?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN CREDITS??????????
Funky music but…
WHAT
WHAT IS HAPPENING
WHY DID MOBIUS FORGET LOKI
WHY DID THE TIME KEEPERS STATUE GET REPLACED?
END CREDIT SCENE?
SEASON 2 CONFIRMED OKAY SO
AGHHHHHHHHHH!
I—WHAT?
BUT
BUT
WHEN IS SEASON 2???
HOW LONG WILL I HAVE TO WAIT?
WAS THAT KANG OR DO I HAVE TO EAT A ROCK?
WILL SEASON TWO FOLLOW DIRECTLY AFTER SEASON ONE OR IS THIS LEADING UP TO THE DR STRANGE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS AND WILL SEASON TWO FOLLOW THAT?
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MY HEART
SYLVIE WHY
YOU TRAITOR
BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T A BETRAYAL IN THE WAY I FEARED IT WOULD BE
BUT STILL
I AM LOOKING AT THE CREDITS IN THE OTHER LANGUAGES TO SEE IF THEY REFER TO HE WHO REMAINS AS KANG
I DON’T WANT TO EAT A ROCK
MY BRAIN IS MELTING
MY HEART IS… AGHHHHHHHHHHH
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